Singing, oh, the Hazards of Love

So, I am no longer among that elite group of people that can say, "I don't have a sexually transmitted disease." I went in yesterday to be poked and prodded and to have a slice of cells taken out of me. It turns out, I have HPV, which is unfortunate, but on the bright side, apparently 85% of women my age have it as well. The other bad news is that there were indeed abnormal cells, so a biopsy was taken. I won't find out the results of that until August 4th.

Today is Chris and my anniversary. It's been 3 years since we started dating. We share the date with 4 of Chris' family/friends' birthdays. And, we will spend most of today driving to Joliet. But, we went to Olive Garden last night since I found out they now have risotto on the menu (they're the first place around here to have that item, sadly). I was pretty excited, but the risotto turned out to be...meh. It was still a lovely dinner and we had some tiramisu, which was very good. Plus, it's nice to know that the risotto I make is better than a restaurant's. I opened my present from Chris yesterday, which was Jeeves & Wooster on DVD. Neither of us has ever seen it, but we're both fans of Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.

Doctors and Douchebags

About a month ago, I made an appointment with a gynecologist. A few days after, a nurse called to inform me that the results of my pap smear were abnormal and that I would have to come back to have a colposcopy done. I had to do some internet research to find out what this test is, and the first phrase to come up in my search was cervical cancer. So, I freaked out for a little while, then felt better after I was assured that this sort of thing happens somewhat often and that usually everything is fine. I go in for the test tomorrow morning, but I'm not sure when I'll be given the results. So, as I'm yet to find out if I have cancer or not, I've decided (and made a deal with Chris) that if I do have the disease, I get to shave my head. I've always had an itch to do this, but Chris doesn't want me to. Now's my chance! In fact, maybe I'm rooting for the cancer right now (it comes with the added benefit of immunity from judgment--if it turns out that I look atrocious bald, no one can acknowledge it without then feeling like an asshole). We'll see...

I've been training for a triathlon that will occur on August 29th. The training began well, but I'm quickly losing motivation these days.

I recently got around to seeing the film Gone Baby Gone and walked away with mixed feelings. It was an interesting story and was very well-acted. I thought Ben Affleck did a good job directing it (except for the reveal near the end, which I thought was overdone). The dialogue could've been much better, but from what I've read, most of it was lifted directly from Dennis Lehane's novel. It was frustrating for me to watch, though, because almost every character is an utterly terrible person. So many characters make so many bad choices and justify them so self-righteously and with such hypocrisy, that I spent half of my viewing yelling at the screen. Many of the reviews praise the film for its moral ambiguity. To me, there's nothing ambiguous about it--Casey Affleck's character makes the right decision (in the end, not in the house during the shoot-out) and everyone else is in the wrong. The truth is the right thing and such means as the police used in no way justified the end they sought. Also, on a particular side-note, if you truly care about the well-being of a child, you should protect them, even if it hurts you--don't force the police to pry her out of your hands, it's incredibly selfish and harmful to the child. Okay, so maybe I didn't really like the film that much.

When I Was A Young Girl

I was telling Chris a story from work, and he suggested that I should share it here. One of my duties is to make sure that the bulletin boards in the three break rooms are up to date and clear of any inappropriate material, as well as to keep the break rooms themselves tidy. So, I was carrying out this task today and had the opportunity to do something fun, satisfying, and a bit controversial. The downstairs break room is notorious for leaving newspapers and coupons strewn about one of the tables. There is much to be thrown away from this particular break room. Today was no exception, and today featured a special item. There was a Bible sitting on the table. I checked the inside covers and flipped through the pages to make sure there wasn't a name inscribed, that this book belonged to someone who had forgotten here. Seeing no name, and seeing a couple of "good news" pamphlets stuck in various pages, I surmised that this was someone's attempts to spread the good word. So, I did my best to help that endeavor. I walked over to the trash can and dropped the book in, its weight compacting the various paper towels and other trash below it.

In other news, I have written a children's book (if anyone knows a publisher, I'm all ears), and am currently writing a second one.

In sad news, I am all out of Double Stuf Mint Oreos. They are manna from heaven. I already miss them.

Paris Is Burning

So, having free time at work means that I have been catching up on my news, and when I say news, I mean headlines on MSN's site (which is the homepage that is set on the computers here). Most of the things I read, then, are strange items of news or celebrity gossip (I have become intimately familiar with all of Britney's travails as of late). Some interesting things I learned today: a pet bunny was stolen from a preschool room in protest of a circus that was in town. A paraphrase from one of the preschool's attendees, "Our bunny was stoled. I'm sad." More bizarre than that, a man in North Carolina bought a smoker at an auction. The items at the auction were culled from abandoned items at a storage silo. He got home, opened up the smoker, and found, wrapped in paper, a human leg, severed a couple of inches above the knee. Did a loan shark leave it there after collecting it from a client? Perhaps the Russian mob was involved (though from what Without A Trace tells me, they're more likely to go after fingers)? A serial killer? Nope, something less exciting, but way more fun--police called the woman who the smoker had belonged to and she told them that her son had been in a plane crash, had his leg amputated, and kept it for "religious reasons." So now, the son is going to drive to North Carolina to pick up his leg. You'd think he'd be a little more careful about hanging on to that limb. In other leg-related news, a man smuggled a couple of exotic iguanas into the country via a compartment he had hollowed out of his prosthetic leg. I like the idea of hiding things in a prosthetic limb, though I think I would use it for less illegal and less alive things.

Soon, I will e-mail Oliver Sacks. I'm pretty excited. I am almost finished with his book The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and found that in one of his cases, a woman who is "simple" is quite a poet and described her grandmother's death as the woman going to her "long home." Sacks was impressed by this and wondered if that was an original phrase. While reading Jane Eyre, I came across that phrase (uttered by Helen). Apparently, the simple lady liked to have books read to her, so maybe that is where she picked it up. Anyway, I think it's worth a shot to e-mail Sacks about it. So, it seems I'm getting quite some mileage out of this Jane Eyre book, though it's dragging a bit for me now. Hopefully some fun things will start happening. I read some analyses of her drawings online last week which contained some spoilers--so I know I have some strange things to look forward to.

Chris and I have moved about twenty feet or so from where we lived. It seems to have worked out really well. We have a lot more space now (so there's plenty of room for anyone who wants to visit...hint hint) and I think overall, this apartment is better. In other Chris related news, we will be seeing My Brightest Diamond in Grand Rapids, MI on November 10th (it's a Saturday). Tickets are only $10 and My Brightest Diamond is really really good, especially live. She/They will also be in Chicago the next night (at the Lakeshore Theater), but if you go to that show, you won't have the pleasure of our company.