I got three for free
but whatever you give
I’ll grab and want more,
it comes and it goes
but it’s always
above or below
appropriate amounts.
Listen, because
this is
when it counts,
whatever comes,
whatever shows
along the way,
I will surmount.
And look at it all from up here
it’s all carried and doesn’t stick
it’s there without weight
and I really hate
to come down the mountain,
welsh on the bet I’m taking:
that when I try slaking
my thirst is when
I feel it worst.
6.23.2012
3.06.2010
2.27.2010
Who's Gonna Sing?
So...it has been a while since I've posted and a lot has happened.
-I sprained my ankle playing football on Labor day. This meant that I rode around in one of those carts at Meijer, which was a lot of fun, and that I spent a fair amount of time on crutches, which was not fun. It has given me a new appreciation for the people who have a hard time getting around and has also left me with the fear that I will sprain my ankle again in the future.
-My beloved Celica is no longer with us. The timing belt broke and there were other problems. I could've had it fixed, but it would've been quite the chunk of change, so I scrapped it. But, my dad bought me a car for Christmas, so I am still tooling around. He got me a white 2004 Toyota Solara. It's very nice, though it's automatic and I really miss the Celica. So far, the car hasn't taken control and driven me off a cliff, though I hear that this is a possibility.
-Chris and I broke up. While I was the one who technically did the breaking up, I don't think it would be fair to say anything other than "Chris and I broke up." We're still living together, with all of my stuff in one room and all of his in another and I'm sleeping on the couch. I would like to have a bed, but other than that, it's alright and it will be like this until August. At that point, I'll stay in Lansing and he will hopefully have a job teaching at a university somewhere. I don't have any prospects beyond that at this time.
-I'm seeing a therapist. I have gone for 5 sessions now. It is alright and sometimes it seems like it's helping, though sometimes it feels like it's doing nothing at all. I'm trying to be alright completely on my own, to be able to make myself feel better and also to feel like everything will be okay, no matter what happens to me externally. I sometimes worry though that if I'm completely able to do all of these things for myself, if I don't need anyone to help me out and make me feel better, then I'll feel like there's no point to have people really close to me and I'll become bitter and cut myself off from everyone. Fingers crossed!
-I'm still trying to learn to play guitar and now I'm the closest to this goal than I've ever been before, which admittedly isn't saying much. However, I have learned enough to have recorded 2 songs which I've written. I have other songs with melody and lyrics, but I don't know how to go the next step and write the actual music to accompany them. But, here's the 2 I do have music for. Feedback is welcome.
The Flood:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ikt3n3njm4z
Little Bee:
http://www.mediafire.com/?nt3yzzftnei
-I sprained my ankle playing football on Labor day. This meant that I rode around in one of those carts at Meijer, which was a lot of fun, and that I spent a fair amount of time on crutches, which was not fun. It has given me a new appreciation for the people who have a hard time getting around and has also left me with the fear that I will sprain my ankle again in the future.
-My beloved Celica is no longer with us. The timing belt broke and there were other problems. I could've had it fixed, but it would've been quite the chunk of change, so I scrapped it. But, my dad bought me a car for Christmas, so I am still tooling around. He got me a white 2004 Toyota Solara. It's very nice, though it's automatic and I really miss the Celica. So far, the car hasn't taken control and driven me off a cliff, though I hear that this is a possibility.
-Chris and I broke up. While I was the one who technically did the breaking up, I don't think it would be fair to say anything other than "Chris and I broke up." We're still living together, with all of my stuff in one room and all of his in another and I'm sleeping on the couch. I would like to have a bed, but other than that, it's alright and it will be like this until August. At that point, I'll stay in Lansing and he will hopefully have a job teaching at a university somewhere. I don't have any prospects beyond that at this time.
-I'm seeing a therapist. I have gone for 5 sessions now. It is alright and sometimes it seems like it's helping, though sometimes it feels like it's doing nothing at all. I'm trying to be alright completely on my own, to be able to make myself feel better and also to feel like everything will be okay, no matter what happens to me externally. I sometimes worry though that if I'm completely able to do all of these things for myself, if I don't need anyone to help me out and make me feel better, then I'll feel like there's no point to have people really close to me and I'll become bitter and cut myself off from everyone. Fingers crossed!
-I'm still trying to learn to play guitar and now I'm the closest to this goal than I've ever been before, which admittedly isn't saying much. However, I have learned enough to have recorded 2 songs which I've written. I have other songs with melody and lyrics, but I don't know how to go the next step and write the actual music to accompany them. But, here's the 2 I do have music for. Feedback is welcome.
The Flood:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ikt3n3njm4z
Little Bee:
http://www.mediafire.com/?nt3yzzftnei
8.17.2009
The Hazards of the Royal Oak Music Theatre
This past Tuesday, Chris and I traveled to Royal Oak, a suburb of Detroit, for what we thought to be the last Decemberists' show we'd see on their current tour (it turns out that they announced another Chicago show--October 8 at the Riviera--while we were waiting in line). Chris had to teach that day, so we didn't make it out to the theatre until around 2pm (which was incredibly late by my standards). And, arriving so late, we did miss chatting with some Decemberists as they walked around the food and shopping district near the venue. Apparently, Colin, Nate, Jenny, and Chris had decided to some busking that morning and made $9.25 before they were told to move along by a member of the Royal Oak Police Department. Now, Chris and I were joined at this show by a few members of the Decemberists' message board: Lisa (who joined us in Indianapolis last weekedn)drove up and a British couple, Guy and Claire, who planned a cross-country train trip around this show and who were spending the night at our place.
So, while I was a bit disappointed for having missed saying hello to band members, I was incredibly disappointed and angered by the strange ticket policy of the Royal Oak Music Theatre. From the time we arrived, we were told that there would be separate lines for people with physical tickets and people who printed off tickets after buying them from the venue's website. There was much confusion as to why there were two lines and what would happen when the doors were opened and in the end, the whole line of printed out tickets (about 100 people or so) were let in before any of us in the physical ticket line. A couple of security people handed us some line about the printed out tickets being special and for V.I.P.s, but Guy and Claire were in this line (which was a good thing since they saved us spots) and this excuse was blatantly untrue. We did get to the front, although we were kind of squeezed in and Chris had to stand behind me, but this was a ridiculous policy and I will not be visiting this theatre again (though it's a really nice venue, physically). Another problem I had with the place involved the climate inside. By the end of the first set, I was starting to feel ill. I had tried to eat and drink regularly throughout the day, but perhaps I was a little dehydrated because it was really hot in the theater and I had been rocking out to Hazards. What started as just a pain in my stomach turned into full-on retching and holding in vomit for almost the entire second Decemberists' set. Luckily, I was able to hold it in, but that meant I spent half of the show concentrating on not expelling bodily fluid, which meant I was a very passive concert-goer and felt bad about the lack of enthusiasm I displayed. After the show, I got some fresh air and eventually felt much better.
Now, before the show, when we were looking to get dinner, Chris and I passed by a small burger joint which advertised their sliders. We were intrigued and went inside to discover that the place was incredibly small and that the Decemberists' roadies were all inside waiting for their food. We said hello and stood there for about 5 minutes being ignored by the sole proprietor before we decided that we didn't have time to wait and went to Jimmy John's instead. When the roadies were setting up the stage for the Decemberists show, one of them came towards the front and told us that we had made the right decision. Apparently, one slider went down well, but not so much on the next two or three. So, now we have chatted with not only the band members on this tour, but also the roadies that travel with them.
Afterwards, as we waited around for the band and I recovered, Guy and Claire bought the poster for that night's show and also bought one for us! It was a very nice gesture, because it's a great poster, and we subsequently got all but Nate to sign it for us. I must say, despite the bullshit ticketing and the near-vomiting, Tuesday night was spectacular! We talked to everyone but Nate and had really extended conversations at that. Chris even said that we shouldn't be paying for tickets anymore since we come to so many shows that we're like family now!! So, hooray for everything working out splendidly in the end.
In other news, I have decided that I'm not going to participate in the official triathlon that is going on in Kalamazoo. I have yet to register, and so the fee is now much more expensive than it was. Instead, I will run my own official triathlon with Chris timing me. Also, I have some thoughts on District 9 (which Chris and I saw last night and very much enjoyed) and Armond White's reviews of it, but this is getting a bit long, so I'll get to that later this week, hopefully.
So, while I was a bit disappointed for having missed saying hello to band members, I was incredibly disappointed and angered by the strange ticket policy of the Royal Oak Music Theatre. From the time we arrived, we were told that there would be separate lines for people with physical tickets and people who printed off tickets after buying them from the venue's website. There was much confusion as to why there were two lines and what would happen when the doors were opened and in the end, the whole line of printed out tickets (about 100 people or so) were let in before any of us in the physical ticket line. A couple of security people handed us some line about the printed out tickets being special and for V.I.P.s, but Guy and Claire were in this line (which was a good thing since they saved us spots) and this excuse was blatantly untrue. We did get to the front, although we were kind of squeezed in and Chris had to stand behind me, but this was a ridiculous policy and I will not be visiting this theatre again (though it's a really nice venue, physically). Another problem I had with the place involved the climate inside. By the end of the first set, I was starting to feel ill. I had tried to eat and drink regularly throughout the day, but perhaps I was a little dehydrated because it was really hot in the theater and I had been rocking out to Hazards. What started as just a pain in my stomach turned into full-on retching and holding in vomit for almost the entire second Decemberists' set. Luckily, I was able to hold it in, but that meant I spent half of the show concentrating on not expelling bodily fluid, which meant I was a very passive concert-goer and felt bad about the lack of enthusiasm I displayed. After the show, I got some fresh air and eventually felt much better.
Now, before the show, when we were looking to get dinner, Chris and I passed by a small burger joint which advertised their sliders. We were intrigued and went inside to discover that the place was incredibly small and that the Decemberists' roadies were all inside waiting for their food. We said hello and stood there for about 5 minutes being ignored by the sole proprietor before we decided that we didn't have time to wait and went to Jimmy John's instead. When the roadies were setting up the stage for the Decemberists show, one of them came towards the front and told us that we had made the right decision. Apparently, one slider went down well, but not so much on the next two or three. So, now we have chatted with not only the band members on this tour, but also the roadies that travel with them.
Afterwards, as we waited around for the band and I recovered, Guy and Claire bought the poster for that night's show and also bought one for us! It was a very nice gesture, because it's a great poster, and we subsequently got all but Nate to sign it for us. I must say, despite the bullshit ticketing and the near-vomiting, Tuesday night was spectacular! We talked to everyone but Nate and had really extended conversations at that. Chris even said that we shouldn't be paying for tickets anymore since we come to so many shows that we're like family now!! So, hooray for everything working out splendidly in the end.
In other news, I have decided that I'm not going to participate in the official triathlon that is going on in Kalamazoo. I have yet to register, and so the fee is now much more expensive than it was. Instead, I will run my own official triathlon with Chris timing me. Also, I have some thoughts on District 9 (which Chris and I saw last night and very much enjoyed) and Armond White's reviews of it, but this is getting a bit long, so I'll get to that later this week, hopefully.
8.10.2009
Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right
Okay...here goes the recollection of all my weekend adventures.
Chicago
Bright and early Thursday morning, Chris and I got up and drove to the Metro. Our Decemberists-show friends had arranged for all of us to meet out front at 10am to wait in line for the show that night. It was perfect timing, for not long after we arrived, Chris Funk and Colin Meloy walk by (looking a bit bleary). We say hello and they walk down the street. Throughout the day, we see all of the Decemberists (and the Diamond girls), and my friend Erica got all of their autographs on a vinyl copy of Hazards of Love (which one of the Decemberists' roadies gave us for showing up so early). But, their were a couple of definite highlights. Shara Worden talked with us several times throughout the day, which was lovely. And Chris Funk, who walked past us several times, stopped once and when Chris asked if he was alright (he was looking a bit surly), told us he was hungover and chatted with us for awhile. One of my friends semi-forced him to accept a cupcake and told him stories about her not having herpes. He pointed at me at one point and asked "Haven't I met you a couple of times?" So, the moral of the story is that Chris Funk remembers me and that he had (and basically initiated) a conversation with us!
Chris and his cupcake
The cadre outside Metro
Now, the day was sailing along, but it was a bit doomed. I bought two tickets as soon as I could during the pre-sale through Music Today. For some reason, the only option I had was to accept Will Call tickets. I was a bit nervous about this and found out that night that I had every reason to be. Metro had a terrible, baffling, and incredibly unfair policy of opening the Will Call office at the same time as the doors. This meant that the people who were there all day, who bought tickets as soon as they could, and had no choice about their delivery options were screwed. I went to the Will Call window as soon as doors opened and watched a lady fumble around looking through tickets. She didn't find mine and told me I had to go out to the box office (which is a separate office next door to the venue). I ran out, ducked under a barricade, fell on the concrete and kind of somersaulted back on my feet, went to the box office, and was forced to deal with a nasty troll of a woman, who took her sweet time and told me I had to go back to the Will Call window. Chris and I rush back into the venue (but not before being harassed by a couple of security guards who were overzealous as well as incompetent), and find that there are no tickets, Metro employees don't communicate with each other, and end up getting my name checked off a list that was held by a different employee before we are allowed to enter. We rush up and are able to cut thought and get to the front, but we are now a bit to the right of center on a barricade (which was disappointing--it seems the Decemberists have reached a level of fame where there will always be a rail set up and we won't be able to stand against the stage). This was okay, except that when the Decemberists came on their staging was slightly different than usual (it's a small stage and they have a lot of equipment), and we were directly in front of Chris Funk's amps, which meant that we could definitely hear Chris (and at some points only Chris) throughout the set. It was a great show that began with "The Tain," included a brand new tune called "The Calamity Song," and ended with a second encore of "The Mariner's Revenge Song." All in all a great day with some great frustration in the middle.
On Friday, we drove down to Bloomington, IN to see our friend Hatch and to spend the night on our way to Indianapolis on Saturday. It was a very fun visit and it was nice to see the IU campus (Chris and I had never been to Bloomington and we both thought it was a very charming college town--complete with chipmunks!).
Indianapolis
We arrived at the Murat around noon and met up with a couple of girls from the Decemberists' message board (one of which was sympathetic to my recent troubles there, which made me feel a lot better about that situation).
Orate represented
We weren't expecting to see any Decemberists during the day since the door we waited outside was on the opposite side of the building as where the tour buses were so there was no need to walk past us and also there was nothing interesting near our side of the venue. Hatch had told us about about Mass Ave., which is a street next to the Murat that is lined with interesting things, so when we got hungry, Chris and I walked up and down looking for food and surveying the area. We stopped by the front of a shop and Chris peered in to check out its wares. I meanwhile, took a map of the street from just inside the door and was looking at it for a place to get food from. Chris turns around and I hear him say, "Oh, hey Colin." Colin Meloy walked up to us and began a conversation!! He asked us if there was anything we'd like to hear at the show, and I told him that we had just been talking about how none of us (Chris and I as well as the orate girls) had ever heard the band perform "Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right." He let us know he'd try to get it on the setlist but that it was a bit of a long shot since it had been many years since they'd ever played it together. Then, he left to go check out a record store and we went and ate some Subway. Later in the day, Chris and I decided to go to the music shop to stretch our legs and check out what an Indianapolis record store has to offer. While perusing, I looked up and saw Anne Briggs (her eponymous LP) faced out. I have been meaning to listen to her since Colin is a big fan and her EP The Hazards of Love had a hand in inspiring the Decemberists' album. So, I decided this was a pretty good sign that I should buy it and did. Perhaps Colin Meloy, while shopping there earlier, had purposely put that CD on display for someone to find or perhaps it was a coincidence. We walked back and waited some more, and then we were able to get prime position (no unprofessional and incompetent employees to deal with this time) for a great show. Hazards sounded amazing and Shara kicked a couple parts up a notch by belting out some extra notes. The second set was great and included Colin talking directly to Chris and I during the show. He told us that he tried his best to get our request in and someone right behind us in the audience caught it on film. This person uploaded several videos from the show and I think that all of them feature Chris' head in the right side of the frame.
We left right after the show to begin the four hour drive home and stopped in Anderson, IN to get some fast food. Now, I've seen some strange things in my life, but was pretty taken aback by this town not too far north of Indy. Every fast food joint in town was packed, both inside (if their dining room was open) and in the drive-thru. Every single place had at least ten cars in the drive-thru lane. Apparently, there had been a concert as well as some mixed martial arts show earlier that night. We finally got home and got some rest and now we await our last Hazards show on Tuesday in Royal Oak, MI. To sum up the weekend: a couple steps closer to having the Decemberists think that we're cool.
Chicago
Bright and early Thursday morning, Chris and I got up and drove to the Metro. Our Decemberists-show friends had arranged for all of us to meet out front at 10am to wait in line for the show that night. It was perfect timing, for not long after we arrived, Chris Funk and Colin Meloy walk by (looking a bit bleary). We say hello and they walk down the street. Throughout the day, we see all of the Decemberists (and the Diamond girls), and my friend Erica got all of their autographs on a vinyl copy of Hazards of Love (which one of the Decemberists' roadies gave us for showing up so early). But, their were a couple of definite highlights. Shara Worden talked with us several times throughout the day, which was lovely. And Chris Funk, who walked past us several times, stopped once and when Chris asked if he was alright (he was looking a bit surly), told us he was hungover and chatted with us for awhile. One of my friends semi-forced him to accept a cupcake and told him stories about her not having herpes. He pointed at me at one point and asked "Haven't I met you a couple of times?" So, the moral of the story is that Chris Funk remembers me and that he had (and basically initiated) a conversation with us!
Chris and his cupcake
The cadre outside Metro
Now, the day was sailing along, but it was a bit doomed. I bought two tickets as soon as I could during the pre-sale through Music Today. For some reason, the only option I had was to accept Will Call tickets. I was a bit nervous about this and found out that night that I had every reason to be. Metro had a terrible, baffling, and incredibly unfair policy of opening the Will Call office at the same time as the doors. This meant that the people who were there all day, who bought tickets as soon as they could, and had no choice about their delivery options were screwed. I went to the Will Call window as soon as doors opened and watched a lady fumble around looking through tickets. She didn't find mine and told me I had to go out to the box office (which is a separate office next door to the venue). I ran out, ducked under a barricade, fell on the concrete and kind of somersaulted back on my feet, went to the box office, and was forced to deal with a nasty troll of a woman, who took her sweet time and told me I had to go back to the Will Call window. Chris and I rush back into the venue (but not before being harassed by a couple of security guards who were overzealous as well as incompetent), and find that there are no tickets, Metro employees don't communicate with each other, and end up getting my name checked off a list that was held by a different employee before we are allowed to enter. We rush up and are able to cut thought and get to the front, but we are now a bit to the right of center on a barricade (which was disappointing--it seems the Decemberists have reached a level of fame where there will always be a rail set up and we won't be able to stand against the stage). This was okay, except that when the Decemberists came on their staging was slightly different than usual (it's a small stage and they have a lot of equipment), and we were directly in front of Chris Funk's amps, which meant that we could definitely hear Chris (and at some points only Chris) throughout the set. It was a great show that began with "The Tain," included a brand new tune called "The Calamity Song," and ended with a second encore of "The Mariner's Revenge Song." All in all a great day with some great frustration in the middle.
On Friday, we drove down to Bloomington, IN to see our friend Hatch and to spend the night on our way to Indianapolis on Saturday. It was a very fun visit and it was nice to see the IU campus (Chris and I had never been to Bloomington and we both thought it was a very charming college town--complete with chipmunks!).
Indianapolis
We arrived at the Murat around noon and met up with a couple of girls from the Decemberists' message board (one of which was sympathetic to my recent troubles there, which made me feel a lot better about that situation).
Orate represented
We weren't expecting to see any Decemberists during the day since the door we waited outside was on the opposite side of the building as where the tour buses were so there was no need to walk past us and also there was nothing interesting near our side of the venue. Hatch had told us about about Mass Ave., which is a street next to the Murat that is lined with interesting things, so when we got hungry, Chris and I walked up and down looking for food and surveying the area. We stopped by the front of a shop and Chris peered in to check out its wares. I meanwhile, took a map of the street from just inside the door and was looking at it for a place to get food from. Chris turns around and I hear him say, "Oh, hey Colin." Colin Meloy walked up to us and began a conversation!! He asked us if there was anything we'd like to hear at the show, and I told him that we had just been talking about how none of us (Chris and I as well as the orate girls) had ever heard the band perform "Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right." He let us know he'd try to get it on the setlist but that it was a bit of a long shot since it had been many years since they'd ever played it together. Then, he left to go check out a record store and we went and ate some Subway. Later in the day, Chris and I decided to go to the music shop to stretch our legs and check out what an Indianapolis record store has to offer. While perusing, I looked up and saw Anne Briggs (her eponymous LP) faced out. I have been meaning to listen to her since Colin is a big fan and her EP The Hazards of Love had a hand in inspiring the Decemberists' album. So, I decided this was a pretty good sign that I should buy it and did. Perhaps Colin Meloy, while shopping there earlier, had purposely put that CD on display for someone to find or perhaps it was a coincidence. We walked back and waited some more, and then we were able to get prime position (no unprofessional and incompetent employees to deal with this time) for a great show. Hazards sounded amazing and Shara kicked a couple parts up a notch by belting out some extra notes. The second set was great and included Colin talking directly to Chris and I during the show. He told us that he tried his best to get our request in and someone right behind us in the audience caught it on film. This person uploaded several videos from the show and I think that all of them feature Chris' head in the right side of the frame.
We left right after the show to begin the four hour drive home and stopped in Anderson, IN to get some fast food. Now, I've seen some strange things in my life, but was pretty taken aback by this town not too far north of Indy. Every fast food joint in town was packed, both inside (if their dining room was open) and in the drive-thru. Every single place had at least ten cars in the drive-thru lane. Apparently, there had been a concert as well as some mixed martial arts show earlier that night. We finally got home and got some rest and now we await our last Hazards show on Tuesday in Royal Oak, MI. To sum up the weekend: a couple steps closer to having the Decemberists think that we're cool.
8.05.2009
Dragonfly
The good news is that I don't have cancer. Apparently abnormal cells are rated on a 4 point scale with 4 being cancer and 1 being...not cancer. My cells are rated 1 and apparently should clear up on their own, though I have to return to the doctor in 6 months to make sure that they do. Unfortunately, I won't be shaving my head (at this time).
The bad news is that last night and today I feel terrible. I regularly post on a Decmberists message board and sometimes have mixed feelings about some of the other regular posters there. Most people are very nice, but there is a bit of clique-iness (as in all aspects of life I suppose) and there are a couple of douchebags. One of these douchebags is the moderator and I find that especially bothersome. Anyway, I made a comment about not liking the movie Knocked Up and he made some comments toward me that I felt were unwarranted and when I said (wrote) so I received even more critical comments from him and other board members. In reality, it's not that big of a deal (and I'm not quite sure why it bothers me so much), but in principle, it's really shitty. I really dislike being insulted, and then, when I stand up for myself, being called sensitive and told that I just can't take criticism. It also bothered me because the accusations being thrown at me by other board members were things I didn't do but the moderator did. It seems that I made the mistake of calling him out on being an asshole, but that some of these people don't want to be told that their emperor is naked. The really bad thing, though, is that getting upset about that triggered my general malaise that I have to deal with seemingly more and more often. I think it's getting worse in the frequency and duration and also, it is starting to make me feel physically ill. The worst thing, though, is that I now don't feel any excitement for the trek Chris and I are about to embark on.
Tomorrow morning, we'll be getting up early and driving to Chicago to see The Decemberists at Metro. On Friday, we'll be driving to Bloomington, IN to see a good friend of ours and to use his couch so that we can drive to Indianapolis Saturday to see The Decemberists again. We'll come back home for a couple of days and then be off to Royal Oak (a suburb of Detroit) to see The Decemberists for a final time on this tour, after which we'll play host to a couple of British Decemberists fans who are sight-seeing on a train across the country.
So, anyway...I realize that most of my entries here are depressing and filled with complaint, and I don't want that to be the case. Hopefully, next week I'll have some very exciting Decemberists stories to tell and will be feeling better.
The bad news is that last night and today I feel terrible. I regularly post on a Decmberists message board and sometimes have mixed feelings about some of the other regular posters there. Most people are very nice, but there is a bit of clique-iness (as in all aspects of life I suppose) and there are a couple of douchebags. One of these douchebags is the moderator and I find that especially bothersome. Anyway, I made a comment about not liking the movie Knocked Up and he made some comments toward me that I felt were unwarranted and when I said (wrote) so I received even more critical comments from him and other board members. In reality, it's not that big of a deal (and I'm not quite sure why it bothers me so much), but in principle, it's really shitty. I really dislike being insulted, and then, when I stand up for myself, being called sensitive and told that I just can't take criticism. It also bothered me because the accusations being thrown at me by other board members were things I didn't do but the moderator did. It seems that I made the mistake of calling him out on being an asshole, but that some of these people don't want to be told that their emperor is naked. The really bad thing, though, is that getting upset about that triggered my general malaise that I have to deal with seemingly more and more often. I think it's getting worse in the frequency and duration and also, it is starting to make me feel physically ill. The worst thing, though, is that I now don't feel any excitement for the trek Chris and I are about to embark on.
Tomorrow morning, we'll be getting up early and driving to Chicago to see The Decemberists at Metro. On Friday, we'll be driving to Bloomington, IN to see a good friend of ours and to use his couch so that we can drive to Indianapolis Saturday to see The Decemberists again. We'll come back home for a couple of days and then be off to Royal Oak (a suburb of Detroit) to see The Decemberists for a final time on this tour, after which we'll play host to a couple of British Decemberists fans who are sight-seeing on a train across the country.
So, anyway...I realize that most of my entries here are depressing and filled with complaint, and I don't want that to be the case. Hopefully, next week I'll have some very exciting Decemberists stories to tell and will be feeling better.
7.24.2009
Singing, oh, the Hazards of Love
So, I am no longer among that elite group of people that can say, "I don't have a sexually transmitted disease." I went in yesterday to be poked and prodded and to have a slice of cells taken out of me. It turns out, I have HPV, which is unfortunate, but on the bright side, apparently 85% of women my age have it as well. The other bad news is that there were indeed abnormal cells, so a biopsy was taken. I won't find out the results of that until August 4th.
Today is Chris and my anniversary. It's been 3 years since we started dating. We share the date with 4 of Chris' family/friends' birthdays. And, we will spend most of today driving to Joliet. But, we went to Olive Garden last night since I found out they now have risotto on the menu (they're the first place around here to have that item, sadly). I was pretty excited, but the risotto turned out to be...meh. It was still a lovely dinner and we had some tiramisu, which was very good. Plus, it's nice to know that the risotto I make is better than a restaurant's. I opened my present from Chris yesterday, which was Jeeves & Wooster on DVD. Neither of us has ever seen it, but we're both fans of Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.
Today is Chris and my anniversary. It's been 3 years since we started dating. We share the date with 4 of Chris' family/friends' birthdays. And, we will spend most of today driving to Joliet. But, we went to Olive Garden last night since I found out they now have risotto on the menu (they're the first place around here to have that item, sadly). I was pretty excited, but the risotto turned out to be...meh. It was still a lovely dinner and we had some tiramisu, which was very good. Plus, it's nice to know that the risotto I make is better than a restaurant's. I opened my present from Chris yesterday, which was Jeeves & Wooster on DVD. Neither of us has ever seen it, but we're both fans of Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.
7.22.2009
Doctors and Douchebags
About a month ago, I made an appointment with a gynecologist. A few days after, a nurse called to inform me that the results of my pap smear were abnormal and that I would have to come back to have a colposcopy done. I had to do some internet research to find out what this test is, and the first phrase to come up in my search was cervical cancer. So, I freaked out for a little while, then felt better after I was assured that this sort of thing happens somewhat often and that usually everything is fine. I go in for the test tomorrow morning, but I'm not sure when I'll be given the results. So, as I'm yet to find out if I have cancer or not, I've decided (and made a deal with Chris) that if I do have the disease, I get to shave my head. I've always had an itch to do this, but Chris doesn't want me to. Now's my chance! In fact, maybe I'm rooting for the cancer right now (it comes with the added benefit of immunity from judgment--if it turns out that I look atrocious bald, no one can acknowledge it without then feeling like an asshole). We'll see...
I've been training for a triathlon that will occur on August 29th. The training began well, but I'm quickly losing motivation these days.
I recently got around to seeing the film Gone Baby Gone and walked away with mixed feelings. It was an interesting story and was very well-acted. I thought Ben Affleck did a good job directing it (except for the reveal near the end, which I thought was overdone). The dialogue could've been much better, but from what I've read, most of it was lifted directly from Dennis Lehane's novel. It was frustrating for me to watch, though, because almost every character is an utterly terrible person. So many characters make so many bad choices and justify them so self-righteously and with such hypocrisy, that I spent half of my viewing yelling at the screen. Many of the reviews praise the film for its moral ambiguity. To me, there's nothing ambiguous about it--Casey Affleck's character makes the right decision (in the end, not in the house during the shoot-out) and everyone else is in the wrong. The truth is the right thing and such means as the police used in no way justified the end they sought. Also, on a particular side-note, if you truly care about the well-being of a child, you should protect them, even if it hurts you--don't force the police to pry her out of your hands, it's incredibly selfish and harmful to the child. Okay, so maybe I didn't really like the film that much.
I've been training for a triathlon that will occur on August 29th. The training began well, but I'm quickly losing motivation these days.
I recently got around to seeing the film Gone Baby Gone and walked away with mixed feelings. It was an interesting story and was very well-acted. I thought Ben Affleck did a good job directing it (except for the reveal near the end, which I thought was overdone). The dialogue could've been much better, but from what I've read, most of it was lifted directly from Dennis Lehane's novel. It was frustrating for me to watch, though, because almost every character is an utterly terrible person. So many characters make so many bad choices and justify them so self-righteously and with such hypocrisy, that I spent half of my viewing yelling at the screen. Many of the reviews praise the film for its moral ambiguity. To me, there's nothing ambiguous about it--Casey Affleck's character makes the right decision (in the end, not in the house during the shoot-out) and everyone else is in the wrong. The truth is the right thing and such means as the police used in no way justified the end they sought. Also, on a particular side-note, if you truly care about the well-being of a child, you should protect them, even if it hurts you--don't force the police to pry her out of your hands, it's incredibly selfish and harmful to the child. Okay, so maybe I didn't really like the film that much.
6.17.2009
Oh My God
St. Vincent "Oh My God" from Lake Fever Sessions on Vimeo.
A great version of a bonus track off of her album Actor. Can anyone help me rip the audio so that I can keep it?
2.20.2009
2008: A Year in Movies
I have not seen many films this past year. Sadly, I have only seen 12. And now, with the Oscars two days away, I will rank the 12 films of 2008.
12. Wanted - this may make it onto my list of worst movies I have ever seen. Really awful film.
11. The Fall - I would've liked this one more if it was more coherent and had I not been disappointed at the lack of a climax. It's a beautiful film, though, and Lee Pace is excellent.
10. City of Ember - This was enjoyable, but it had the scope of a TV movie for kids. Bill Murray was the best thing in the film, as usual.
9. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - It was a fun movie, and Eddie Izzard was fantastic, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the first Narnia film and it got a bit too Jesus-heavy for my liking.
8. Burn After Reading - I was really looking forward to this one and was a bit disappointed. I understand that the characters weren't supposed to be likable, but I wasn't invested in them at all. J.K. Simmons stole the show.
7. Quantum of Solace - I love Mathieu Amalric and enjoyed this movie, but I'm tired of action sequences that are shot with shaky cameras from a vantage point where you can't really see what's going on.
6. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Okay, so this was a disappointment, but it's still an Indiana Jones film.
5. Be Kind Rewind - It was a little hard to get into, but once you're there, it's very good and has some of the most creative filmmaking in recent memory.
4. Snow Angels - It's not a light, heart-warming romp, but it does have a light, heart-warming storyline with two teenagers falling in love. And it has Amy Sedaris and Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell.
3. The Wrestler - Also not a light, heart-warming romp, but it's executed well and you really care for the title character. Great acting as well.
2. The Dark Knight - Heath Ledger gave the best performance of the year as Joker. It's better than Batman Begins, which was also great. It comes in at a close second to...
1. Wall-E - I don't what else to say other than marvelous.
12. Wanted - this may make it onto my list of worst movies I have ever seen. Really awful film.
11. The Fall - I would've liked this one more if it was more coherent and had I not been disappointed at the lack of a climax. It's a beautiful film, though, and Lee Pace is excellent.
10. City of Ember - This was enjoyable, but it had the scope of a TV movie for kids. Bill Murray was the best thing in the film, as usual.
9. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - It was a fun movie, and Eddie Izzard was fantastic, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the first Narnia film and it got a bit too Jesus-heavy for my liking.
8. Burn After Reading - I was really looking forward to this one and was a bit disappointed. I understand that the characters weren't supposed to be likable, but I wasn't invested in them at all. J.K. Simmons stole the show.
7. Quantum of Solace - I love Mathieu Amalric and enjoyed this movie, but I'm tired of action sequences that are shot with shaky cameras from a vantage point where you can't really see what's going on.
6. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Okay, so this was a disappointment, but it's still an Indiana Jones film.
5. Be Kind Rewind - It was a little hard to get into, but once you're there, it's very good and has some of the most creative filmmaking in recent memory.
4. Snow Angels - It's not a light, heart-warming romp, but it does have a light, heart-warming storyline with two teenagers falling in love. And it has Amy Sedaris and Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell.
3. The Wrestler - Also not a light, heart-warming romp, but it's executed well and you really care for the title character. Great acting as well.
2. The Dark Knight - Heath Ledger gave the best performance of the year as Joker. It's better than Batman Begins, which was also great. It comes in at a close second to...
1. Wall-E - I don't what else to say other than marvelous.
12.30.2008
If I Would
Things have been going pretty well up here in Michigan recently. I have a job I enjoy, work with people that I like (for the most part), and have been doing fairly well in the happiness department. I have been trying to think positively, to remember to relax and not worry so much, to look at things brightly. It's actually been working shockingly well, that is until it spectacularly fails. Well, it's not so much that it fails but that I am the way I am and am never going to be happy and/or content all the time. But right now, I'm consumed with sadness, self-pity, and anger. Happy days are here again...(which I learned the other day was FDR's campaign song, and that he liked to add a couple of drops of absinthe to martinis he made, thereby earning a reputation for making the worst martinis that Hyde Park visitors had ever tasted). The thing is, I know that the dark cloud will pass and I know that it affects my thinking and my outlook, but every time it happens, in the immortal words of Lou Gramm, it feels like the first time. It doesn't matter that I know it's transitory, I can't shake the feeling that it's permanent. It never feels different or better, it's always terrible. Last night, I was mean to Chris, who is down in Belleville with family and friends. And I know that most of the anger was because of my feeling sad, but everything is so immediate and there is no tomorrow. Except for when there is, and it just looks awful. So, I'm trying (but I get awfully tired of trying all the time). Anyway...I'm working on a Long Winters crossword puzzle. I just learned that Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel are engaged (which was quite surprising since I didn't know that she was the person he's been dating). Much to my surprise, Bristol Palin had a kid (I was sure there was going to be a mysterious "miscarriage"), although the mystery of the other kid, what was his name Cosine?, remains. And that's about all for now.
12.01.2008
Raincoat Song
I made risotto tonight. I was nervous about it, since the first (and last, until tonight) attempt was not a success. But, it turned out to be a smashing success. I made it with asparagus, and I have to say it is delicious. I made pot roast yesterday, which turned out well, so now I have leftover risotto and stew to look forward to as dinners for the next few days. I think tomorrow night I will make peanut butter cup brownies, and debate whether or not I want to take half to work or keep them all for me and Chris. Hmm....
In other news, the My Brightest Diamond concert I saw this past month was spectacular, though it was very strange to be seated for the entire concert. The opening act was Clare and the Reasons, who I had never heard before and thoroughly enjoyed. They performed a great cover of Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."
We were able to talk to Shara for a bit after the show and I gave her the crossword puzzle I had made. She was excited about it and asked me if it was alright for her to put it on their website. So keep an eye out for that.
Chris and I went to see the Decemberists at an auditorium on MSU's campus. The band was great as always, but the show was pretty disappointing. The Wharton Center is a lovely auditorium, but an auditorium is not a good place to see a Decemberists show. I'm guessing that the band was not allowed to venture into the orchestra pit, since Colin would come up to the edge of the stage but no further, and so was at a distance of about ten feet from the audience at all times. And, I succumbed to peer pressure and remained seated for the whole concert since everyone else was seated. It was a very odd experience. Afterwards, we waited outside and were able to talk to Jenny for a bit (and witness the stupidity of some audience members up close and personal), but did not see the rest of the band at all. I can't wait for the spring when they'll tour for their upcoming album The Hazards of Love.
In other news, the My Brightest Diamond concert I saw this past month was spectacular, though it was very strange to be seated for the entire concert. The opening act was Clare and the Reasons, who I had never heard before and thoroughly enjoyed. They performed a great cover of Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."
We were able to talk to Shara for a bit after the show and I gave her the crossword puzzle I had made. She was excited about it and asked me if it was alright for her to put it on their website. So keep an eye out for that.
Chris and I went to see the Decemberists at an auditorium on MSU's campus. The band was great as always, but the show was pretty disappointing. The Wharton Center is a lovely auditorium, but an auditorium is not a good place to see a Decemberists show. I'm guessing that the band was not allowed to venture into the orchestra pit, since Colin would come up to the edge of the stage but no further, and so was at a distance of about ten feet from the audience at all times. And, I succumbed to peer pressure and remained seated for the whole concert since everyone else was seated. It was a very odd experience. Afterwards, we waited outside and were able to talk to Jenny for a bit (and witness the stupidity of some audience members up close and personal), but did not see the rest of the band at all. I can't wait for the spring when they'll tour for their upcoming album The Hazards of Love.
11.03.2008
Bridesmaid Revisited
Well, it has been quite some time since I've posted. I am now working in a bookstore and enjoying it, though I do miss being able to stay home and do whatever I feel like.
Tonight, I finished reading Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle and very much enjoyed it. I had read the first chapter of the book waiting in line for Colin Meloy's performance at the Park West in April and was loathe to read any more of it. So it sat in my to-read pile while I finished Middlemarch and Quicksilver, both of which were enjoyable but time-consuming (and Quicksilver is only the first in a trilogy which will be continued perhaps after Christmas). I restarted Castle recently and read a good chunk while waiting for the Decemberists performance at Wheaton College, which will be detailed later. The rest of the novel was very engrossing, and, as always, I am glad to have finished it but sad that it is now over.
This Wednesday, Chris and I will go back to the Ladies Literary Club in Grand Rapids to once again see My Brightest Diamond play there. It is the second of three concerts that will take place within three weeks--it always seems as though concerts pour in between dry spells. I am looking forward to the show and have to finish writing clues for the crossword puzzle I made for Shara Worden (I hope she enjoys crossword puzzles).
The Decemberists played Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL on Halloween. For those not in the know, the college is very, very religious. So, it seemed interesting that a band such as the Decemberists would be invited there and that they would play on Halloween night. I arrived at the chapel/auditorium where the performance would take place at 11am and began my day of sitting on concrete and hoping to talk to a Decemberist or two. Sadly, no one from the band came out that day, which is unusual, but the performance and post-performance made up for the day (which was nice and balmy, at least). The band came out dressed as the cast from The Shining, with Colin Meloy playing the part of Danny, John Moen and Nate Query as the twins, Jenny Conlee as Wendy, and Chris Funk as Jack. They did a brief reenactment for the intro and then proceeded to play a set list that highlighted the more Halloween-appropriate part of their catalogue. I had come to the show dressed as the uncle from "July, July" (a crooked French Canadian who was gut-shot running fin), which consisted of a red and white-striped shirt, some fake blood on my gut, a neckerchief, beret, a plastic carafe filled with water and a label that read "Water, No Gin in Here!", and a little Canadian flag. Colin commented that I had a nice costume (only a handful of audience members had dressed up) and at the beginning of "16 Military Wives", sat down on the stage near me and put my flag in the headstock of his guitar!
As usual, there were several times during the show where he came towards me--I like to think it's because he likes me and not just because I am standing to his left, while all of his pedals are to his right. I was not pulled onstage to play any instruments or sing any parts, but it was still a very fantastic concert, albeit the sound guys could've been much better at their job. Afterwards, I waited outside for the band to come out. I was able to talk to Nate and he signed my copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Now, I should mention that the Decemberists are playing the Wharton Center at MSU on November 12th (!) and that the promotions lady at my bookstore e-mailed the band to see if they could come do a signing that day (!!), though the band didn't respond. So, I took it upon myself to try and persuade them to come hang out at the bookstore before they play on campus. So, I told Nate to come and he said he'd see what he could do. Then, I got to talk to Colin Meloy. There have been two times where I have been talking to Mr. Meloy and another fan has asked me to take a picture of him/her and Colin. I have been happy to oblige, but because I get so nervous, my hands are always shaking while I take the picture. I am happy to report that, for some reason, when I was talking to Colin this time (and taking a picture for a fellow fan), I wasn't very nervous at all. It was almost as if I was talking to some regular person. Colin remembered that I had give him a book for his son (The Berenstain Bears' The Messy Room) and thanked me. We talked a little bit and I told him that the band should visit the bookstore and he said that they might call and arrange a ride to our store (since it is not within walking distance of the campus)!!!!! So I am looking forward to seeing the show on the 12th and keeping everything that I can crossed, hoping that I'll be able to hang out with the Decemberists during the day. Wish me luck!
Tonight, I finished reading Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle and very much enjoyed it. I had read the first chapter of the book waiting in line for Colin Meloy's performance at the Park West in April and was loathe to read any more of it. So it sat in my to-read pile while I finished Middlemarch and Quicksilver, both of which were enjoyable but time-consuming (and Quicksilver is only the first in a trilogy which will be continued perhaps after Christmas). I restarted Castle recently and read a good chunk while waiting for the Decemberists performance at Wheaton College, which will be detailed later. The rest of the novel was very engrossing, and, as always, I am glad to have finished it but sad that it is now over.
This Wednesday, Chris and I will go back to the Ladies Literary Club in Grand Rapids to once again see My Brightest Diamond play there. It is the second of three concerts that will take place within three weeks--it always seems as though concerts pour in between dry spells. I am looking forward to the show and have to finish writing clues for the crossword puzzle I made for Shara Worden (I hope she enjoys crossword puzzles).
The Decemberists played Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL on Halloween. For those not in the know, the college is very, very religious. So, it seemed interesting that a band such as the Decemberists would be invited there and that they would play on Halloween night. I arrived at the chapel/auditorium where the performance would take place at 11am and began my day of sitting on concrete and hoping to talk to a Decemberist or two. Sadly, no one from the band came out that day, which is unusual, but the performance and post-performance made up for the day (which was nice and balmy, at least). The band came out dressed as the cast from The Shining, with Colin Meloy playing the part of Danny, John Moen and Nate Query as the twins, Jenny Conlee as Wendy, and Chris Funk as Jack. They did a brief reenactment for the intro and then proceeded to play a set list that highlighted the more Halloween-appropriate part of their catalogue. I had come to the show dressed as the uncle from "July, July" (a crooked French Canadian who was gut-shot running fin), which consisted of a red and white-striped shirt, some fake blood on my gut, a neckerchief, beret, a plastic carafe filled with water and a label that read "Water, No Gin in Here!", and a little Canadian flag. Colin commented that I had a nice costume (only a handful of audience members had dressed up) and at the beginning of "16 Military Wives", sat down on the stage near me and put my flag in the headstock of his guitar!
As usual, there were several times during the show where he came towards me--I like to think it's because he likes me and not just because I am standing to his left, while all of his pedals are to his right. I was not pulled onstage to play any instruments or sing any parts, but it was still a very fantastic concert, albeit the sound guys could've been much better at their job. Afterwards, I waited outside for the band to come out. I was able to talk to Nate and he signed my copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Now, I should mention that the Decemberists are playing the Wharton Center at MSU on November 12th (!) and that the promotions lady at my bookstore e-mailed the band to see if they could come do a signing that day (!!), though the band didn't respond. So, I took it upon myself to try and persuade them to come hang out at the bookstore before they play on campus. So, I told Nate to come and he said he'd see what he could do. Then, I got to talk to Colin Meloy. There have been two times where I have been talking to Mr. Meloy and another fan has asked me to take a picture of him/her and Colin. I have been happy to oblige, but because I get so nervous, my hands are always shaking while I take the picture. I am happy to report that, for some reason, when I was talking to Colin this time (and taking a picture for a fellow fan), I wasn't very nervous at all. It was almost as if I was talking to some regular person. Colin remembered that I had give him a book for his son (The Berenstain Bears' The Messy Room) and thanked me. We talked a little bit and I told him that the band should visit the bookstore and he said that they might call and arrange a ride to our store (since it is not within walking distance of the campus)!!!!! So I am looking forward to seeing the show on the 12th and keeping everything that I can crossed, hoping that I'll be able to hang out with the Decemberists during the day. Wish me luck!
7.10.2008
To Vote or Not to Vote
Ever since I learned that Barack Obama made the awful, unjustifiable choice of the Rolling Stones over The Beatles, I have been conflicted about the upcoming presidential election. I want to vote. I want to participate in this excellent process of democracy. And I feel compelled to, as a patriotic American that values our ideals and our history. But...I'm not sure that I can vote for Obama. It's not just that he has inexcusable taste for 1960s rock 'n roll (though that is a very important topic for me, and although I understand that many people don't understand why it should be a factor in my decision, it really is and I don't think that I'm being melodramatic or crazy). I have not been following either campaign that closely, mostly because the press coverage, and the campaigning itself, is frustrating and depressing to me. I was really hopeful about this election last year, but now I am less so. I am glad that Obama won the nomination over Hillary Clinton. I am glad that we will no longer have George W. Bush in office. I am not going to vote for John McCain. But, I may not vote for Obama either. There are some issues I have with the man. For instance, his opposition to the recent decision by the Supreme Court (abolishing the death penalty for child rapists) disappoints me. As we get closer to the actual election, I hope to become more informed about all of the candidates, but I think I will remain very wary of voting for Barack Obama (and yes, this does make me sad). I welcome all arguments for or against my supporting him.
6.01.2008
If You're Feeling Sinister
I have a few things I'd like to blog about, but for right now, it'll just be a general update. So, things that are new (in bullet form):
I have spent a good deal of this month substitute teaching for the Lansing School District. The good thing is, I now have money in my bank account, the bad news is, it has been awful. I started out doing all grade levels, but I was nearly crippled by standing all day at elementary schools, so I limited myself to only high schools. Lansing is apparently very poor and this is reflected in their schools. Apparently several schools in the district are magnet schools, but I have not noticed this having any good effect on the school or its student body. I understand that students aren't going to behave very well when there is a substitute teacher, but it's been a tad ridiculous. Perhaps I was raised in a school district that was an exception rather than the rule, but things that occur in the schools I've been in simply would not be tolerated in my almae matres. And no one at these schools seems to be interested in doing anything about discipline. To get a sense of the type of educational facility I'm dealing with, all the doors in these buildings are locked and remain that way throughout the whole day. The faculty bathrooms are locked, but can be opened with a classroom key (which no one told me), the students bathrooms are not locked, but do not have locks on their stalls. One school has a chain and padlock on the door to the third floor that thankfully was not in use during the day, though it would not surprise me if it were--one of the afternoons that I went to the school, the front door to the building was locked and did not have any kind of buzzer or indication of where an open door might be found. Sometimes, I would get a key to the classroom, and therefore the bathrooms, sometimes not, at which point I was pretty much shit-out-of-luck. They don't really give me any information when I come to the school and I don't really have any authority to wield in the classroom. Many times the students would not stop talking and doing whatever they wanted for the entire class, including my introduction and instructions. So, anyway, the school year is over this week and I don't have any gigs currently lined up, so it looks like its over. Hurray!!! But, I still need a job. Boo!!
Another aspect of substitute teaching is that it has made me very miserable. Now, technically the job isn't that bad. I basically sit around all day and get $75 for doing it. But, because of the problems mentioned above, I don't feel comfortable during any of these days. Feeling comfortable is very important to me. Because of this, and some unknown element, ever since I began this job (April 29th), I have experienced the worst depression of my life. Never have I been so constantly and consistently miserable. What usually lasts for a couple of hours and then goes away, not to show its face for at least a couple of days, if not a couple of weeks, has stuck around, lifting for very short periods of time (maybe one day, maybe a couple of hours). Now, I haven't been doing that well for quite some time now (at the risk of ruining my reputation, my libido has been almost non-existent for almost a year, which is very unnerving and depressing), but it's been particularly bad as of late. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
But...here's to better days ahead, and more blog entries in the near future.
- Chris and I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and thought it was fun and enjoyable. Neither of us understand any lackluster response to it.
- We also saw a movie called The Fall in an old theater in Ann Arbor. It featured good performances by Lee Pace (of Pushing Daisies fame) and a little girl and was stunning visually, but it wasn't anything really fantastic. It was directed by the man who made The Cell.
- I have a copy of the sequel to The Mysterious Benedict Society, which is illustrated by Diana Sudyka--an artist who lives in Chicago and has a Carson Ellis-designed tattoo. I've told myself I have to finish at least one of the books I am currently reading before I can start this one (Middlemarch, Quicksilver, and We Have Always Lived in the Castle). Sigh. More about Middlemarch later. I also purchased another book in the 33 1/3 series (I have read Colin Meloy's book on the Replacement's Let It Be, which was excellent). This one is for Belle & Sebastian's If You're Feeling Sinister and is written by Scott Plagenhoef, who is the Editor-in-Chief of Pitchfork. I am excited about it, but again, I won't be reading it until one of the current reads is down for the count.
- I have the new Death Cab for Cutie album Narrow Stairs, which is very good, though I haven't listened to it enough yet to give a full impression.
- I am waiting for the postman to deliver a new Decemberists shirt as well as John Moen's solo album, Perhapst.
- I have a couple of pairs of new jeans (this is pretty eventful since I'm very picky about clothes, particularly pants).
- I have an interview with Grand Rapids Community College this week. I'm trying not to think about it so much so that I won't be disappointed when I don't get a job there
I have spent a good deal of this month substitute teaching for the Lansing School District. The good thing is, I now have money in my bank account, the bad news is, it has been awful. I started out doing all grade levels, but I was nearly crippled by standing all day at elementary schools, so I limited myself to only high schools. Lansing is apparently very poor and this is reflected in their schools. Apparently several schools in the district are magnet schools, but I have not noticed this having any good effect on the school or its student body. I understand that students aren't going to behave very well when there is a substitute teacher, but it's been a tad ridiculous. Perhaps I was raised in a school district that was an exception rather than the rule, but things that occur in the schools I've been in simply would not be tolerated in my almae matres. And no one at these schools seems to be interested in doing anything about discipline. To get a sense of the type of educational facility I'm dealing with, all the doors in these buildings are locked and remain that way throughout the whole day. The faculty bathrooms are locked, but can be opened with a classroom key (which no one told me), the students bathrooms are not locked, but do not have locks on their stalls. One school has a chain and padlock on the door to the third floor that thankfully was not in use during the day, though it would not surprise me if it were--one of the afternoons that I went to the school, the front door to the building was locked and did not have any kind of buzzer or indication of where an open door might be found. Sometimes, I would get a key to the classroom, and therefore the bathrooms, sometimes not, at which point I was pretty much shit-out-of-luck. They don't really give me any information when I come to the school and I don't really have any authority to wield in the classroom. Many times the students would not stop talking and doing whatever they wanted for the entire class, including my introduction and instructions. So, anyway, the school year is over this week and I don't have any gigs currently lined up, so it looks like its over. Hurray!!! But, I still need a job. Boo!!
Another aspect of substitute teaching is that it has made me very miserable. Now, technically the job isn't that bad. I basically sit around all day and get $75 for doing it. But, because of the problems mentioned above, I don't feel comfortable during any of these days. Feeling comfortable is very important to me. Because of this, and some unknown element, ever since I began this job (April 29th), I have experienced the worst depression of my life. Never have I been so constantly and consistently miserable. What usually lasts for a couple of hours and then goes away, not to show its face for at least a couple of days, if not a couple of weeks, has stuck around, lifting for very short periods of time (maybe one day, maybe a couple of hours). Now, I haven't been doing that well for quite some time now (at the risk of ruining my reputation, my libido has been almost non-existent for almost a year, which is very unnerving and depressing), but it's been particularly bad as of late. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
But...here's to better days ahead, and more blog entries in the near future.
4.27.2008
Come Hell
My day began early last Monday. I hit the streets of Chicago around 6:30am, breakfasted, parked, and ended up outside the Park West at about 8:15am. I was first in line for the Colin Meloy show that night at 7:30pm. I was alone for about four hours, trying to keep warm as the sun slipped behind a tall apartment building across the street. Eventually, the sun came back and it was a nice day. And eventually (around 2pm), the tour bus carrying Colin, his fiancee Carson Ellis, their son Hank, and the opener Laura Gibson pulled up. I had come bearing gifts and waited by the tour bus to bestow them. Colin came out and I gave him a DVD of 2 concerts from 1982 and 1981: Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks, respectively. I gave him The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room (one of my favorites) for Hank. And I gave him a Carson Ellis-themed crossword puzzle I had made for Carson. I was also carrying my copy of The Mysterious Benedict Society for Carson to sign (I have Colin's autograph in my copy of God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater). He thanked me and went on the bus to give the crossword and get the autograph and then went inside.
Now, the last time I saw the Decemberists was one of the best nights of my life, so I had pretty high expectations for Monday. It didn't seem to me as though Colin remembered me, and so I was a little disappointed. Later in the day, while I was waiting, I had a couple of other encounters. I met Carson, and she thanked me for the puzzle and told me that she's a crossword fanatic. Then, I saw Carson come by with a nanny and little Hank (who is really, really adorable), I saw Hank come back later in the day and he was crying a bit (which was also adorable), and I saw Carson walk by a couple more times. On one of these occasions, I was reading the book I had brought for all of the waiting: Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Live in the Castle. Carson saw the cover and told me that Colin was reading the same book!
The main event: Laura Gibson opened and was very good, though I think I might've enjoyed the show a bit more if we had been sitting in a cafe rather than standing in the Park West. From what I'd read about her openings for other stops on the tour, I was expecting her to be very quiet and a bit awkward, but she made pretty wonderful onstage "banter." Then, it was on to Colin Meloy. My goal, for a while now, has been to get Colin to like me. I just want to be friends, perhaps correspond regularly, be one of his favorite people...that's all. So, I do my best to come off as smart, interesting, charming, etc. in any encounter with the man. Perhaps I come off as trying too hard, though. I got the impression that Colin found me a bit irritating more than anything else (I should note that I have a tendency to get this impression from a number of people fairly often, so maybe it's just me). It seemed different that night than it has been when I've been in front at Decemberists' shows. This was my second time seeing a Colin solo show, but my first time being right in front. Anyway, the "highlight" of the night happened during "A Cautionary Song." I knew, from watching youtube, that he's been encouraging audience interaction on this tour and that when the line comes up "the sailor's sorry racket calls for maidenhead," he's expected the audience to call for maidenhead. So I did. I yelled out "pussy!" This surprised Colin quite a bit and it took him a minute to laugh and announce that it had made him blush before he could continue with the song. I felt a bit bad since I remembered right after I yelled out that it was an all ages show.
After the show, we stayed around the bus to see Colin and I apologized for making him blush. He told me it was alright and thanked me for yelling out, but then it was a bit awkward as I continued standing there rather than thanking him and leaving. He gave a salute, and I saluted back and then continued to stand there awkwardly. Finally, I did turn around and leave and felt a bit of a fool for not being more smooth. Then, I drove to Joliet and started a saga that shall have to be continued in another post. All in all, it was fantastic, but now I'm trying to get over a bit of an inferiority complex. C'est la vie.
A bit of really good news: when I finally got back to Michigan, I commented on both Colin and Carson's myspace pages, offering my hope that they enjoyed their respective gifts. Later that day, Carson commented on my myspace page saying that she very much enjoyed her crossword puzzle!!!! Hooray!!
4.24.2008
4.19.2008
My Moon My Man
Chris and I saw Feist at the Fillmore in Detroit on April 10th. I have never been to Detroit, but I thought I knew what to expect since the city is pretty notorious. We arrived at the venue around 2pm and were the only ones there. It was barely drizzling, but it was very windy, which made it a cold, unwelcome day. A little over an hour after we got there, Feist and one of her bandmates rolls up in a taxi. We learned later that they had been at the Motown Museum (somewhere I'd like to go before we move out of this awful state). I had brought along "Ricky Gervais presents The World of Karl Pilkington" (a collection of transcripts from Ricky Gervais' podcasts) for her to sign and she happily obliged. Apparently, she and her bandmate had just been talking about Ricky Gervais and quoting The Office, so she wrote: "'I froze your tears and made a dagger...must you breath, for I need heaven' Feist, quoting David Brent with admiration" and then signed Feist. She was very lovely, but a rather short woman, which I was not expecting at all. She's about 5'2" and I spent the rest of the afternoon marveling at this fact. I had always assumed she would be around my height or taller from videos and such, and she's not that short, and it doesn't make any difference, it's just that I had to change the picture in my head which can sometimes feel odd.
Anyway, the show was great, despite some annoyances. Apparently Detroit crowds get rowdy, so the Fillmore had security guards (read fat guys in a Fillmore t-shirt) stand between the barricade and the stage. This is fine except that one of them stood near the center of the stage, and the stage isn't really high. This is kind of fine except that this particular security guy was hugely ignorant, a douchebag, and a chatty Cathy. He started conversations with us and people around us (including people in the second row) and talked during the opening act and while Feist was onstage. Sample gem: "That guy looked retarded. He sucked. I'm sorry, but it's the truth." I didn't realize that a large man from Detroit who likes hardcore rock (he informed us of this several times) was able to judge and provide such truths. The crowd that night was not terrible, but don't let that fool you: they were bad. At one point, Feist started a song and then instead of singing the lyrics, she sang about how if a performer sings very softly the crowd automatically shuts up since it doesn't know what's going on. She even stepped away from the mic and sang for a while until the crowd finally stopped buzzing. Most impressive, though, was her voice. I knew she could sing, but man, she can sing!
Chris and I also saw Ben Folds at a small college in Michigan this past week. I would write about how the show was good and the audience was perhaps the worst I've ever seen at a show and how Chris and I are ready to never see a show in Michigan again (but then admitted that of course we would go if it was a really good act), but then I would get angry and disappointed in humanity (once again).
To end on a good note, I will mention that I'm getting all geared up for what I hope to be the best night since October 29 of last year. Chris and I will drive to Chicago tomorrow, he'll get on a bus to go to St. Louis and I will hang out with John. Monday, I will be outside of the Park West all day and see Colin Meloy perform in the evening!!!!!!!!! I will then be around Tuesday night and Wednesday in the early afternoon, hopefully seeing friends. So friends, clear your schedules.
3.26.2008
The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings
It's nice outside today and I hope it lasts, though odds are that it won't. There's two trees outside the window of our drawing room (Chris and I decided to class the office/computer/spare bedroom up a bit). They are big, tall pine trees and one is on the corner of our lot so that I can almost see its top when I'm sitting down at my desk. The window and my desk are also in such a position that when I'm sitting here looking out, all I can see is trees and patches of sky. I like this view since I can either pretend that I am on a floor that is above ground level (higher floors always seem more exciting and better, but yet so above-the-fray and peaceful) or that I am not in Lansing, MI. Perhaps this view is indicative of a country home where I go to write and I have a foreign housekeeper in the next room who may or may not be plotting to kill me one of these days. Perhaps I'm in Illinois. Perhaps I'm just somewhere where the day-to-day hassles of people and noise and banality are banished, at least for the moment.
Anyway, I'm still unemployed and I'm trying to do worthwhile and productive things while I have all the time in the world. I am trying to amp up (speed up) my guitar learning, but I get discouraged very easily. Chris thinks that it's because I find it difficult, but I think it's a bit more than that. I like to think I'm not the type of person who tries something once and then quits if she's not immediately successful in the endeavor. I'm more the type of person who tries something and instantly feels that she'll never be successful in the endeavor. It's not that I'm diametrically opposed to hard work, it's more that I worry that even with a lot of hard work, I'll end up mediocre at best. Then again, whenever I think about how easily I become discouraged and hopeless, I also think that I tend to be persistent in pursuing things and that I often get what I want in the end. Then, I feel a little better. And, I can play the Futurama theme song on guitar, so there's that.
I was reading a copy of the History Channel's magazine and I found this anecdote very amusing: not that long ago, Iowa wanted to add the wild sunflower to their state's list of destructive weeds and therefore encourage the plant's destruction. Kansas found out about this, and so they threatened to name the Eastern Goldfinch (Iowa's state bird) as their official game bird. Also, apparently some people mock Iowa by claiming the state's name is an acronym for "Idiots Out Wandering Around." Oh, how I love state rivalries.
Anyway, I'm still unemployed and I'm trying to do worthwhile and productive things while I have all the time in the world. I am trying to amp up (speed up) my guitar learning, but I get discouraged very easily. Chris thinks that it's because I find it difficult, but I think it's a bit more than that. I like to think I'm not the type of person who tries something once and then quits if she's not immediately successful in the endeavor. I'm more the type of person who tries something and instantly feels that she'll never be successful in the endeavor. It's not that I'm diametrically opposed to hard work, it's more that I worry that even with a lot of hard work, I'll end up mediocre at best. Then again, whenever I think about how easily I become discouraged and hopeless, I also think that I tend to be persistent in pursuing things and that I often get what I want in the end. Then, I feel a little better. And, I can play the Futurama theme song on guitar, so there's that.
I was reading a copy of the History Channel's magazine and I found this anecdote very amusing: not that long ago, Iowa wanted to add the wild sunflower to their state's list of destructive weeds and therefore encourage the plant's destruction. Kansas found out about this, and so they threatened to name the Eastern Goldfinch (Iowa's state bird) as their official game bird. Also, apparently some people mock Iowa by claiming the state's name is an acronym for "Idiots Out Wandering Around." Oh, how I love state rivalries.
3.19.2008
The Mariner's Revenge Song
Youtube has now twice failed to post my video on my blog. So, here's the video I made.
I hope you like it!
I hope you like it!
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