9.20.2006

A Million Ways

I just saw a sticker on a car that read "Your girlfriend swallows." Is this really supposed to be an insult. Are we to believe that every girl who swallows is a filthy whore? Maybe the girlfriend in question simply doesn't have the presence of mind to say, maybe spit it out the car window in a toll plaza. I saw this sticker after going through a frustrating exit from the parking lot by my building on campus. They redesigned said parking lot this summer, and I'm very unhappy about it. It is now composed of mostly diagonal parking spaces, which is fine and allows for more parking spaces, but at what cost? At what cost?! There is now one more exit, but that exit is placed in such a way that I would be truly shocked if an accident didn't occur by the end of the month. And, to have an effective parking lot, there needs to be some semblance of a logical brain inside the heads of the drivers who use it. You cannot wait in the middle of an aisle for a parking space that will be available eventually. If you do not see a car with reverse lights on, you cannot sit there waiting blocking the regular flow of traffic. If you have pulled past a spot that will now be vacant, you cannot back up when there are cars behind you to pull into that spot. Once your car is far enough from a spot that you have to put it in reverse, you have forfeited all rights to that space. !!!!!! Alright, time for a shower. I have much more to write about, but I am also very dirty. And you know what that means.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that perhaps the author of the bumper sticker is implying not so much that said girlfriend is a whore for swallowing his semen in general, but that she is a whore because she was willing to swallow the semen of the author of the sticker. Perhaps the author has an especially filthy wang with large open herpes sores oozing whatever comes out of a herpes sore. Thus, if the girlfriend swallowed his putrid disgusting semen, indeed, she must be a whore for only a whore would lower herself to such an act.

Toll plaza. Oh, you.

And the best way to deal with the parking lot is start ramming the offending automobiles with yours. It's surprisingly effective.

undulatingorb said...

Ah, that makes more sense. Thanks!