If I Would

Things have been going pretty well up here in Michigan recently. I have a job I enjoy, work with people that I like (for the most part), and have been doing fairly well in the happiness department. I have been trying to think positively, to remember to relax and not worry so much, to look at things brightly. It's actually been working shockingly well, that is until it spectacularly fails. Well, it's not so much that it fails but that I am the way I am and am never going to be happy and/or content all the time. But right now, I'm consumed with sadness, self-pity, and anger. Happy days are here again...(which I learned the other day was FDR's campaign song, and that he liked to add a couple of drops of absinthe to martinis he made, thereby earning a reputation for making the worst martinis that Hyde Park visitors had ever tasted). The thing is, I know that the dark cloud will pass and I know that it affects my thinking and my outlook, but every time it happens, in the immortal words of Lou Gramm, it feels like the first time. It doesn't matter that I know it's transitory, I can't shake the feeling that it's permanent. It never feels different or better, it's always terrible. Last night, I was mean to Chris, who is down in Belleville with family and friends. And I know that most of the anger was because of my feeling sad, but everything is so immediate and there is no tomorrow. Except for when there is, and it just looks awful. So, I'm trying (but I get awfully tired of trying all the time). Anyway...I'm working on a Long Winters crossword puzzle. I just learned that Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel are engaged (which was quite surprising since I didn't know that she was the person he's been dating). Much to my surprise, Bristol Palin had a kid (I was sure there was going to be a mysterious "miscarriage"), although the mystery of the other kid, what was his name Cosine?, remains. And that's about all for now.


Raincoat Song

I made risotto tonight. I was nervous about it, since the first (and last, until tonight) attempt was not a success. But, it turned out to be a smashing success. I made it with asparagus, and I have to say it is delicious. I made pot roast yesterday, which turned out well, so now I have leftover risotto and stew to look forward to as dinners for the next few days. I think tomorrow night I will make peanut butter cup brownies, and debate whether or not I want to take half to work or keep them all for me and Chris. Hmm....

In other news, the My Brightest Diamond concert I saw this past month was spectacular, though it was very strange to be seated for the entire concert. The opening act was Clare and the Reasons, who I had never heard before and thoroughly enjoyed. They performed a great cover of Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

We were able to talk to Shara for a bit after the show and I gave her the crossword puzzle I had made. She was excited about it and asked me if it was alright for her to put it on their website. So keep an eye out for that.

Chris and I went to see the Decemberists at an auditorium on MSU's campus. The band was great as always, but the show was pretty disappointing. The Wharton Center is a lovely auditorium, but an auditorium is not a good place to see a Decemberists show. I'm guessing that the band was not allowed to venture into the orchestra pit, since Colin would come up to the edge of the stage but no further, and so was at a distance of about ten feet from the audience at all times. And, I succumbed to peer pressure and remained seated for the whole concert since everyone else was seated. It was a very odd experience. Afterwards, we waited outside and were able to talk to Jenny for a bit (and witness the stupidity of some audience members up close and personal), but did not see the rest of the band at all. I can't wait for the spring when they'll tour for their upcoming album The Hazards of Love.