International Harvester

In April of 2006, there was a van carrying students from Taylor University in Indiana that was hit by a tractor-trailer on I-69. Five people were dead at the scene, including a girl named Whitney, and one girl, named Laura, was taken to the hospital, remained in a coma for five weeks, and then regained consciousness and entered a rehab facility. Only this isn't really what happened. Turns out, Laura died (and was buried in Whitney's grave) and Whitney was in the hospital (being cared for by Laura's boyfriend and family). This is very tragic and horrible, but it's also pretty fucking funny. It gets better. Laura's boyfriend, after finding out that he had been by the bedside of Whitney and that his girlfriend was six feet under had this to say, "There's been times these last couple of days that I've been mad at God...I feel like it's the biggest trick he's ever played on me." Absolutely. Naysay if you will, that ole trickster God is at it again! How did he manage to pull this one over on that boyfriend? Well, at the crash site, emergency workers rallied up dead and severely injured and sent them on their way. At the hospital, officials from the University were asked to identify the five bodies. Actually, they were asked to match a list of fives names to the deceased. Now, this was not the official identification of the body, the official one occurred, well, over a month later after Whitney had been awake and in rehabilitation. Officials "decided not to push" family members in order to ascertain who was lying on the slab in the morgue. That God! Pulling tricks on some Christian zealot by making people incompetent!! Ooh, one of my favorite parts: while in rehabilitation the girl was asked to write her name. What did she write? "Whitney Cerak" What was Laura's family's response? "Hmm...maybe we're idiots who can't recognize our own child, even after swelling in her face has gone down, the tube in her throat and mask over her mouth has been removed, she has spoken, and has written a name that belongs to someone else who was in the van during the crash." Though at least they're aren't as self-important and fucking arrogant as God-boy boyfriend who's mad at his Lord because apparently the world revolves around him.

Sigh.