Dragonfly

The good news is that I don't have cancer. Apparently abnormal cells are rated on a 4 point scale with 4 being cancer and 1 being...not cancer. My cells are rated 1 and apparently should clear up on their own, though I have to return to the doctor in 6 months to make sure that they do. Unfortunately, I won't be shaving my head (at this time).

The bad news is that last night and today I feel terrible. I regularly post on a Decmberists message board and sometimes have mixed feelings about some of the other regular posters there. Most people are very nice, but there is a bit of clique-iness (as in all aspects of life I suppose) and there are a couple of douchebags. One of these douchebags is the moderator and I find that especially bothersome. Anyway, I made a comment about not liking the movie Knocked Up and he made some comments toward me that I felt were unwarranted and when I said (wrote) so I received even more critical comments from him and other board members. In reality, it's not that big of a deal (and I'm not quite sure why it bothers me so much), but in principle, it's really shitty. I really dislike being insulted, and then, when I stand up for myself, being called sensitive and told that I just can't take criticism. It also bothered me because the accusations being thrown at me by other board members were things I didn't do but the moderator did. It seems that I made the mistake of calling him out on being an asshole, but that some of these people don't want to be told that their emperor is naked. The really bad thing, though, is that getting upset about that triggered my general malaise that I have to deal with seemingly more and more often. I think it's getting worse in the frequency and duration and also, it is starting to make me feel physically ill. The worst thing, though, is that I now don't feel any excitement for the trek Chris and I are about to embark on.

Tomorrow morning, we'll be getting up early and driving to Chicago to see The Decemberists at Metro. On Friday, we'll be driving to Bloomington, IN to see a good friend of ours and to use his couch so that we can drive to Indianapolis Saturday to see The Decemberists again. We'll come back home for a couple of days and then be off to Royal Oak (a suburb of Detroit) to see The Decemberists for a final time on this tour, after which we'll play host to a couple of British Decemberists fans who are sight-seeing on a train across the country.

So, anyway...I realize that most of my entries here are depressing and filled with complaint, and I don't want that to be the case. Hopefully, next week I'll have some very exciting Decemberists stories to tell and will be feeling better.