To take a page from the book of John, and to put off my long-awaited Decemberists post a little while longer, I have compiled my Top Ten TV Shows I Currently Watch, Excluding Late Night TV:
10. Law and Order
9. Law and Order: SVU
8. CSI
7. Law and Order: CI
6. Numbers
5. Scrubs
4. Criminal Minds
3. The Office
2. House
1. The Simpsons
4.30.2007
4.10.2007
Copernicus
I'm not sure what I think of this. What do you think?
Joliet's under the rain
but you're stuck there
approaching Division.
two lanes of intermittant
traffic and you're stopped
on the side.
You exit, lie face down on
the pavement, swearing
you won't budge,
and you mean it this time.
he brings the bow back
toward his chest, pointed
toward the organ inside him
and behind him.
he repeats the notes,
underscoring the mood of
the crowd and thinks of
the organ inside him
and behind him,
the organ,
and the organist,
the organ player.
Good afternoon
Washington Island,
I'm returning your daughter,
she couldn't even
get off the bus.
Joliet's under the rain
but you're stuck there
approaching Division.
two lanes of intermittant
traffic and you're stopped
on the side.
You exit, lie face down on
the pavement, swearing
you won't budge,
and you mean it this time.
he brings the bow back
toward his chest, pointed
toward the organ inside him
and behind him.
he repeats the notes,
underscoring the mood of
the crowd and thinks of
the organ inside him
and behind him,
the organ,
and the organist,
the organ player.
Good afternoon
Washington Island,
I'm returning your daughter,
she couldn't even
get off the bus.
3.28.2007
Clouds
Fantastic things to blog about! First, Chris and I saw The Long Winters at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor last Sunday. They were playing in Chicago on Saturday, but I decided to go up to Michigan instead, since the Blind Pig's website proclaims that John Lennon once played there! Having gone to relatively few live shows, I've never seen a non-local band play at such a small club. The place wasn't all that much bigger than my apartment. Having gone to shows of bands that I'm obsessed with that play bigger places, we arrived in Ann Arbor around 4:30pm (doors opened at 9pm, according to the tickets). It turns out that Ann Arbor isn't a bad town six days out of the week. Sunday, however, is the day when people sacrifice sandwiches to the gods, though, and I advise not going there on this holy day, unless you want to pay too much money for a frilly sandwich and latte at a cafe. So, we spent a lot of our time waiting in a bar underneath the bar/club where the band would be playing. Except, after playing darts we went back outside to get some fresh air and to make sure that a line wasn't forming. It was pretty windy outside, though, and I wanted to go in, but Chris said we should stay and finish going through the down clues (we were working on a GLBT crossword puzzle). I knew having Chris around would pay off at some point--a van with Washington license plates pulled up and started unloading Long Winters. So we shook hands and introduced ourselves to two of the members, John Roderick and Eric Corson. Later on, when we started waiting outside permanently at around 8pm, we had a chat with Eric as he was smoking, and he told us about the drunken antics witnessed post-show in Chicago.
So, the show. The opening band, Stars of Track and Field, were pretty good, though they seemed to rush through their set and didn't really interact with the audience. Then, a very awesome, two hour show by John Roderick and company. Some highlights: being not much more than a foot away from the band, the ensuing song when someone in the audience requested Rush (Eric broke into I don't know, some Rush song (I make a point of not knowing their oeuvre) and John improvised his "best Neal Peart impression": "dungeons and dragons, wizards....Ayn Rand, determinism, secular humanism"), all of the stage banter, all of the songs, the non-encore which consisted of playing more songs, though without the superfluous five minutes of the audience cheering to an empty stage waiting for the band to return, and the aftershow chatting with the band. Chris bought one of their albums, When I Pretend To Fall, which was signed by everyone (prior to this show, I had seen John Roderick play at the 826 Benefit in Chicago--where he played "Porcupine Pie" with Ben Gibbard, and had afterward downloaded some Long Winters songs, but hadn't really given a good listen to more than about three songs. I went to this show mostly to once again see the excellent stage presence and voice of John Roderick). I had a good conversation with Roderick, during which he wished me luck with my Master's degree (!), and I hope I came off as an interesting, funny, and suave person who he was charmed by. All around excellent day which I hope to repeat sometime in the future.
In other blog-worthy news, The Decmeberists DVD, The Decemberists: A Practical Handbook, became mine on Tuesday!! It is fantastic. Consisting of a recording of their performance at the Roseland Theater in Portland from November 4, 2005, a documentary (excellent, though it should be longer!) called Paris Before the War, and the music videos for "The Tain," "The Bachelor and the Bride," "16 Military Wives," "The Soldiering Life," and "Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect," it will not leave my DVD player for a good amount of time. The video for "The Tain" is tremendously spectacular. I have a feeling it will prevent me from getting much work done. It presents the story of The Tain and is done in silhouette animation by Andy Smetanka, who used the same medium to produce a truly excellent video for "The Bachelor and the Bride" as well. Really, it must be seen, it can hardly be adequately described and praised through me writing a blog entry. So, that's all in blog land for today. I have a Decemberists concert to listen to from World Cafe.
So, the show. The opening band, Stars of Track and Field, were pretty good, though they seemed to rush through their set and didn't really interact with the audience. Then, a very awesome, two hour show by John Roderick and company. Some highlights: being not much more than a foot away from the band, the ensuing song when someone in the audience requested Rush (Eric broke into I don't know, some Rush song (I make a point of not knowing their oeuvre) and John improvised his "best Neal Peart impression": "dungeons and dragons, wizards....Ayn Rand, determinism, secular humanism"), all of the stage banter, all of the songs, the non-encore which consisted of playing more songs, though without the superfluous five minutes of the audience cheering to an empty stage waiting for the band to return, and the aftershow chatting with the band. Chris bought one of their albums, When I Pretend To Fall, which was signed by everyone (prior to this show, I had seen John Roderick play at the 826 Benefit in Chicago--where he played "Porcupine Pie" with Ben Gibbard, and had afterward downloaded some Long Winters songs, but hadn't really given a good listen to more than about three songs. I went to this show mostly to once again see the excellent stage presence and voice of John Roderick). I had a good conversation with Roderick, during which he wished me luck with my Master's degree (!), and I hope I came off as an interesting, funny, and suave person who he was charmed by. All around excellent day which I hope to repeat sometime in the future.
In other blog-worthy news, The Decmeberists DVD, The Decemberists: A Practical Handbook, became mine on Tuesday!! It is fantastic. Consisting of a recording of their performance at the Roseland Theater in Portland from November 4, 2005, a documentary (excellent, though it should be longer!) called Paris Before the War, and the music videos for "The Tain," "The Bachelor and the Bride," "16 Military Wives," "The Soldiering Life," and "Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect," it will not leave my DVD player for a good amount of time. The video for "The Tain" is tremendously spectacular. I have a feeling it will prevent me from getting much work done. It presents the story of The Tain and is done in silhouette animation by Andy Smetanka, who used the same medium to produce a truly excellent video for "The Bachelor and the Bride" as well. Really, it must be seen, it can hardly be adequately described and praised through me writing a blog entry. So, that's all in blog land for today. I have a Decemberists concert to listen to from World Cafe.
3.18.2007
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, give a minute..."
when you're driving home
you'll take a tour of
the hole in the ground,
it runs at about 80 cents/hr.
and your car will
travel over those
hundreds of miles,
the headlights doing
their best to cut a
swath out of the
pitch black of a
highway without streetlights
on its sides.
and when you're on your
way home, out to the East,
I'll look out in the night
and wait for the sun to rise.
you'll take a tour of
the hole in the ground,
it runs at about 80 cents/hr.
and your car will
travel over those
hundreds of miles,
the headlights doing
their best to cut a
swath out of the
pitch black of a
highway without streetlights
on its sides.
and when you're on your
way home, out to the East,
I'll look out in the night
and wait for the sun to rise.
2.25.2007
Standing Still
things very pleasant,
the dinner made in
the kitchen,
the music playing
that falls on a line
between 'soft rock'
and what the kids
are listening to these days
the definitions aren't
so distinct, not mandated
things very relaxed
no one here's worried,
not overly concerned
no one is left lonely
in their thoughts
the present's the thing,
the presence the thing.
the dinner made in
the kitchen,
the music playing
that falls on a line
between 'soft rock'
and what the kids
are listening to these days
the definitions aren't
so distinct, not mandated
things very relaxed
no one here's worried,
not overly concerned
no one is left lonely
in their thoughts
the present's the thing,
the presence the thing.
2.21.2007
No Dice!
Trains from Chicago
And I think of how
I can't use "darling"
like they can,
it just doesn't sound right
and when I think of
wanting to be someone else,
I remember that they
don't call you darling,
and they don't have a
love for the Chef's Kitchen.
It's ten o'clock on a
Wednesday evening
and I'm sitting here
remembering what
Washington looked like
eleven years back, in
the white shadow of Maryhill,
O Klickitat, you have
remembered too.
It's a cold winter evening
and I think about
reading on the front lawn
and remember that I
never finished that tale.
And I think of how
I like watching the audience
that doesn't react,
it just makes me feel better
and when I think of
wanting to be something else,
I remember that
the Thinker used to be the Poet,
and it has never
been to Bronson.
And I think of how
I can't use "darling"
like they can,
it just doesn't sound right
and when I think of
wanting to be someone else,
I remember that they
don't call you darling,
and they don't have a
love for the Chef's Kitchen.
It's ten o'clock on a
Wednesday evening
and I'm sitting here
remembering what
Washington looked like
eleven years back, in
the white shadow of Maryhill,
O Klickitat, you have
remembered too.
It's a cold winter evening
and I think about
reading on the front lawn
and remember that I
never finished that tale.
And I think of how
I like watching the audience
that doesn't react,
it just makes me feel better
and when I think of
wanting to be something else,
I remember that
the Thinker used to be the Poet,
and it has never
been to Bronson.
2.01.2007
Some scribblings
A few things I wrote tonight, which aren't very good, but I haven't written anything in a while.
#1
the darkest night,
all of the stars have gone.
the sun remains,
but only to focus
our eyes in the day,
to look at what we have left.
#2
he's a creature who
feasts on eyes.
he's a righty,
his brother a Southpaw.
obsessed with revenge,
he's endlessly filling
the hole in his skull,
swallowing the orbs
now blind in his stomach.
#3
The seventh point
in your steps toward
self-deter-tualization
tells me that I must
pick a color for my spirit.
green is my favorite, is
favored by such distinguished
persons as Ralph Nader
and Joe Peta.
but it's the color of the
eyes of a monster,
and I don't want to be a monster.
yellow is sunshine, yet
also cowardly and the
hue of urine (when
one isn't all that hydrated).
red is brave and dangerous,
the bad boy of the spectrum,
terribly exciting, but
red seeps from fatal wounds.
blue is the wide open sky,
and the shade of the
bird of happiness,
but it's also melancholy,
downtrodden, not much fun
to be around.
I wonder how this color
can exemplify both ends.
and I think that blue
is the color of
your steps are shit.
#1
the darkest night,
all of the stars have gone.
the sun remains,
but only to focus
our eyes in the day,
to look at what we have left.
#2
he's a creature who
feasts on eyes.
he's a righty,
his brother a Southpaw.
obsessed with revenge,
he's endlessly filling
the hole in his skull,
swallowing the orbs
now blind in his stomach.
#3
The seventh point
in your steps toward
self-deter-tualization
tells me that I must
pick a color for my spirit.
green is my favorite, is
favored by such distinguished
persons as Ralph Nader
and Joe Peta.
but it's the color of the
eyes of a monster,
and I don't want to be a monster.
yellow is sunshine, yet
also cowardly and the
hue of urine (when
one isn't all that hydrated).
red is brave and dangerous,
the bad boy of the spectrum,
terribly exciting, but
red seeps from fatal wounds.
blue is the wide open sky,
and the shade of the
bird of happiness,
but it's also melancholy,
downtrodden, not much fun
to be around.
I wonder how this color
can exemplify both ends.
and I think that blue
is the color of
your steps are shit.
1.16.2007
More Today Than Yesterday
So, I haven't seen nearly as many movies as I should have from 2006. I hope to remedy this a bit in the coming days, especially after the Oscar nominations are announced. But, I have seen some good ones, and I will rank those that I've seen so far. It always surprises me when I go through the list of movies released in the past year since it seems I've seen some of them so long ago. There were many difficult decisions in ranking these (especially the top five or so, especially especially the top three), but I've come up with an order I'm reasonably satisfied with. So, without further ado...
Films of 2006
1. V for Vendetta
2. The Prestige
3. Lucky Number Slevin
4. Children of Men
5. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Wordplay
7. Borat...
8. Inside Man
9. Thank You For Smoking
10. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
11. Notes on a Scandal
12. Casino Royale
13. Night at the Museum
14. Strangers With Candy
15. A Prairie Home Companion
16. Mission: Impossible III
17. The Devil Wears Prada
18. The Da Vinci Code
19. United 93
20. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
21. Superman Returns
Films of 2006
1. V for Vendetta
2. The Prestige
3. Lucky Number Slevin
4. Children of Men
5. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Wordplay
7. Borat...
8. Inside Man
9. Thank You For Smoking
10. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
11. Notes on a Scandal
12. Casino Royale
13. Night at the Museum
14. Strangers With Candy
15. A Prairie Home Companion
16. Mission: Impossible III
17. The Devil Wears Prada
18. The Da Vinci Code
19. United 93
20. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
21. Superman Returns
1.15.2007
Melt With You
So I've seen some kind of unusual things in porns lately, but one I watched today takes the cake. This past week, I saw double vaginal and double anal (though not at the same time) and two women anally fisting each other. Today, I was watching a threesome between two women and one man. The odd thing: one of the women had a cast on her left arm! Why is she doing porn with a cast covering her whole left arm?! Maybe I've happened upon a fetish for injuries, or for pink casts. I had to laugh to myself (and then masturbate, though not to that particular clip).
Anyway, I start off my last semester of grad school tomorrow. I'm nervous about teaching again after the month of Winter break. But, I have a shirt from Victoria's Secret (it's not racy, though it does make my tits look pretty damn good, if I do say so myself) which I will wear to help me get a chili pepper on rateyourprofessor.com. Here's hoping! I'm also going to make a really large effort to not procrastinate this semester and stay on top of reading for classes and for my comprehensive exams. I'll need a lot of good luck for that endeavor.
I read Heart of Darkness over break (and now I can go to Pimmsfest '07!). I have to say...meh. It took me some time to get into it and read more than a few pages a sitting, and when the narrator arrives and interacts with Kurtz, it became more interesting, but I still didn't care for it very much. I thought it was heartbreaking when Marlowe tells Kurtz's Intended about the man's last words, but it never really gripped me at all. I didn't like Marlowe as a narrator and felt no connection to anyone or anything going on. I realize its importance and significance (because people have told me this, rather than me knowing much about literature having to do with Imperialism), but I don't feel like I've gained anything in particular from having read this work, other than being able to discuss it and how blah I feel about it when it comes up at cocktail parties (those crazy English student cocktail parties!).
Anyway, I start off my last semester of grad school tomorrow. I'm nervous about teaching again after the month of Winter break. But, I have a shirt from Victoria's Secret (it's not racy, though it does make my tits look pretty damn good, if I do say so myself) which I will wear to help me get a chili pepper on rateyourprofessor.com. Here's hoping! I'm also going to make a really large effort to not procrastinate this semester and stay on top of reading for classes and for my comprehensive exams. I'll need a lot of good luck for that endeavor.
I read Heart of Darkness over break (and now I can go to Pimmsfest '07!). I have to say...meh. It took me some time to get into it and read more than a few pages a sitting, and when the narrator arrives and interacts with Kurtz, it became more interesting, but I still didn't care for it very much. I thought it was heartbreaking when Marlowe tells Kurtz's Intended about the man's last words, but it never really gripped me at all. I didn't like Marlowe as a narrator and felt no connection to anyone or anything going on. I realize its importance and significance (because people have told me this, rather than me knowing much about literature having to do with Imperialism), but I don't feel like I've gained anything in particular from having read this work, other than being able to discuss it and how blah I feel about it when it comes up at cocktail parties (those crazy English student cocktail parties!).
1.02.2007
"That's Not the Way She Tells It"
Two recent developments which I have thought hilarious: first, an occurence which I said would work as a good stand-up joke, a thought Chris disagrees with (therefore I leave you, dear reader, as the judge)--I was pulling out of a slanted parking space at the same time as a car two spaces over, and the car stops to let me back out first. I think "What an idiot," and then I notice her bumper sticker "Euclid sucks!" Okay, it works better telling it than writing it, but still, I think it's damn funny. Chris thinks that it is too esoteric.
Another funny thing happened on the way to the forum that has beome a bit of a running joke between the two of us. I was getting in bed last night and Chris' elbow was in the way. So, I lie down in discomfort and in retaliation I'm going to put my cold hand on him, so I reach over, not aiming for anything in particular, but I happen to hit the jackpot and grab his wang. Chris said something that wasn't positive about this happening, called my hand the "icy hand of death", and his junk remained hidden away, safely tucked for most of the night. This is the moment that I discovered that he can tuck and untuck with no manual manipulation, which impressed me greatly. Anyway, two things that really amused me. I hope they amused you as well.
Another funny thing happened on the way to the forum that has beome a bit of a running joke between the two of us. I was getting in bed last night and Chris' elbow was in the way. So, I lie down in discomfort and in retaliation I'm going to put my cold hand on him, so I reach over, not aiming for anything in particular, but I happen to hit the jackpot and grab his wang. Chris said something that wasn't positive about this happening, called my hand the "icy hand of death", and his junk remained hidden away, safely tucked for most of the night. This is the moment that I discovered that he can tuck and untuck with no manual manipulation, which impressed me greatly. Anyway, two things that really amused me. I hope they amused you as well.
12.12.2006
The Wheel
There are now three, possibly four, instances of me mishearing a lyric from a song, and preferring that misheard one.
Instance #1 "Yellow" by Coldplay
Actual lyric:"For you I'd bleed myself dry"
What I heard: "For you I'd be myself [I don't know what]"
Actually, when I think about it, I think this was more of trying to recall the lyric and being incorrect, rather than actually mishearing it. Either way, "for you I'd be myself" is a really cool line and should be used somewhere.
Instance #2 "Never Is A Promise" by Fiona Apple
Actual lyric: "You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high"
What I heard: "You'll say you'd never let me fall from heights so high"
The meaning of the actual lyric is superior, but I like the sound of mine.
Instance #3 "Tonight, Tonight" by Smashing Pumpkins
Actual lyric: "Believe in me as I believe in you"
What I heard: "Believe in me as I'm leaving you"
Undoubtedly, my version is better, albeit much darker. But I still stand by the belief that bittersweet is one of the best emotions out there.
Instance #4 "We Don't Need Another Hero"
Actual lyrics: "Give it all or nothing"
What I heard: "Is it all or nothing?"
Now, the judges are still out on this one. All the lyrics sites on the web claim the first version, but it really sounds like what I heard. And what I heard is much better. Less of a cliche, and once again darker, which, especially in art, tends to equal better.
Instance #1 "Yellow" by Coldplay
Actual lyric:"For you I'd bleed myself dry"
What I heard: "For you I'd be myself [I don't know what]"
Actually, when I think about it, I think this was more of trying to recall the lyric and being incorrect, rather than actually mishearing it. Either way, "for you I'd be myself" is a really cool line and should be used somewhere.
Instance #2 "Never Is A Promise" by Fiona Apple
Actual lyric: "You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high"
What I heard: "You'll say you'd never let me fall from heights so high"
The meaning of the actual lyric is superior, but I like the sound of mine.
Instance #3 "Tonight, Tonight" by Smashing Pumpkins
Actual lyric: "Believe in me as I believe in you"
What I heard: "Believe in me as I'm leaving you"
Undoubtedly, my version is better, albeit much darker. But I still stand by the belief that bittersweet is one of the best emotions out there.
Instance #4 "We Don't Need Another Hero"
Actual lyrics: "Give it all or nothing"
What I heard: "Is it all or nothing?"
Now, the judges are still out on this one. All the lyrics sites on the web claim the first version, but it really sounds like what I heard. And what I heard is much better. Less of a cliche, and once again darker, which, especially in art, tends to equal better.
12.01.2006
Skating
This was on a friend's blog and I thought it interesting. And maybe it'll make me feel more bookish.
1. One book that changed your life: I was just thinking about this the other day. I don't have a book that changed my life. I don't have any single work of art/experience/what have you that has altered my being. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on anything, but then I know that I'm not (kind of a long explanation).
2. One book that you've read more than once: The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
3. One book that you'd want on a desert island: Hmm....probably a toss-up between an Archie digest magazine (preferrably a Jughead Double Digest, possibly No. 10) and House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
4. One book that made you laugh: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
5. One book that made you cry: Maus by Art Spiegelman
6. One book that you wish had been written: The Great Gatsby without a deceiving title--where Gatsby is the center character and is a charming, dashing rogue involved in the underground world of speakeasies and other fun 1920s gadabouts
7. One book that you wish had never been written: The Bible :) Actually, I don't know. I just ignore books that I don't like generally.
8. One book that you're currently reading: With the end of the semester, I'm only reading plays, criticism, and student's papers. But I plan on starting on David Sedaris' Holidays on Ice when I'm done with this.
9. One book that you've been meaning to read: Well, I have to read Heart of Darkness over break. I think the first non-school-related book I'll read will be The Fifty Year Sword by Mark Z. Danielewski.
1. One book that changed your life: I was just thinking about this the other day. I don't have a book that changed my life. I don't have any single work of art/experience/what have you that has altered my being. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on anything, but then I know that I'm not (kind of a long explanation).
2. One book that you've read more than once: The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
3. One book that you'd want on a desert island: Hmm....probably a toss-up between an Archie digest magazine (preferrably a Jughead Double Digest, possibly No. 10) and House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
4. One book that made you laugh: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
5. One book that made you cry: Maus by Art Spiegelman
6. One book that you wish had been written: The Great Gatsby without a deceiving title--where Gatsby is the center character and is a charming, dashing rogue involved in the underground world of speakeasies and other fun 1920s gadabouts
7. One book that you wish had never been written: The Bible :) Actually, I don't know. I just ignore books that I don't like generally.
8. One book that you're currently reading: With the end of the semester, I'm only reading plays, criticism, and student's papers. But I plan on starting on David Sedaris' Holidays on Ice when I'm done with this.
9. One book that you've been meaning to read: Well, I have to read Heart of Darkness over break. I think the first non-school-related book I'll read will be The Fifty Year Sword by Mark Z. Danielewski.
11.29.2006
11.14.2006
Los Angeles, I'm Yours
So, it's been a while. I've been fairly busy, what with all the procrastinating I have to do. But, the most important and landmark event that has occurred since our last engagement, dear reader, was truly phenomenal and something that has still not been truly understood by my brain. I...met...Colin...Meloy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it? I can't. A couple of months ago, I met Ben Gibbard, which was also very surreal and fantastic, but I didn't say anything to him other than getting his autograph. My harem isn't ranked, per se, but I think Colin Meloy is on the top of the pile, so it's especially extraordinary. But, from the beginning....
Saturday, November 11th: Chris and I drove to the city fairly early, arriving at the Riviera Theatre circa 11:30am. We began to walk around the building to see where the line began, if there was a tour bus anywhere, etc. and passed a man and woman on our way. I looked at the man and thought he looked familiar, and then realized that it was Chris Funk, the guitar player extraordinaire. As we passed them, I called out "Chris" and he turned around. I had him sign my copy of God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater and wished him a good show. He then went to the Borders across the street. Thinking that perhaps other Decemberists were looking at books, Chris and I scoured the bookstore in search of the so-far-elusive Mr. Meloy. No luck. Chris bought a cup of coffee from the cafe, and I asked the barista there if there were any book or record stores around the area, ones that might catch the fancy of a rockstar, perhaps. He pointed the way to one down the street called Shake, Rattle, and Read. Chris and I trekked over, and on our way came upon Jenny Conlee, keyboardist extraordinaire who was very friendly and mentioned that a friend of hers was once in a band called God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. Filled with more hope, we roamed the small bookstore, but alas, no Colin there either. I did buy a copy of John Steinbeck's The Short Reign of Pippin IV, and chatted with the owner. He knew the Decemberists and I told him that he should give me a sign if Colin Meloy came in after we left. We then went back to the front of the Riviera to wait in line. Good thing too, since three college students came by shortly to also wait in line. After standing there for a few minutes, who should walk by on the sidewalk but the top member of my harem, Colin Meloy!!! It was very disorienting, but I tried to maintain my cool, suave veneer. I smiled and waved and then walked up to him and said hello. He signed my book, surprised at our early arrival at the theater, and noticed that I had already seen two of his bandmates. I wanted to ask a question, both out of curiosity and a need to make the conversation longer, and so asked him about the version of The Crane Wife that he read, since I noticed a discrepancy between his lyrics and my copy of the book. I wanted this question to seem smart and astute and interesting and impressive, though immediatly after asking, I felt it was none of these things. He answered that there are several discrepancies between the numerous translations of the book. He then walked down to Borders. After jumping up and down for awhile, Chris mentioned that he could take a picture of me and Colin on his phone when he would come back to the theatre. I was conflicted between wanting a picture and the possibility of spending more time with Colin Meloy (in person!!!) and coming off as a bothersome fan. Colin came back a little while later, walking with Jenny, and Chris took two pictures of the three of us, one with Colin's arm around me!! I wish I could remember what it was like to stand next to Colin Meloy with his arm around me better, but it's all a bit of a haze, what with the shock and disbelief. I told him about Shake, Rattle, and Read and he thanked me for the recommendation. Fast forward six or seven very cold hours, and Chris, my friend Dave, and I were standing in the front row, center stage, thoroughly enjoying a wonderful concert. The whole band stayed back from the edge of the stage the whole time, but Colin would come up every now and again to the loud roar of the crowd. At one point, he straddled the edge of the stage and the barrier that stood a couple of feet from it, his foot mere inches away from me. Oh, it was fantastic. This meeting has yet to fully sink in to my consciousness, and I don't know if it ever will. It's very strange. I've watched, read, and listened to everything from and/or about Colin Meloy that I can find, so part of me feels like I know him, yet it was made very obvious to me on Saturday that I don't. It's very odd to reconcile. So, goal #1 of meeting Colin Meloy, check. Goal #2: befriending Colin Meloy and seeing him often, soon, my friends, soon. So....anyone want to move to Portland?
10.17.2006
Dear Mr. Supercomputer
My tinkering with a friend's song/poem that I wrote as a poem:
staring down the stairs
at a door
through which
you'll appear.
soon enough, there'll be
a return.
staring down the lie
that floats around still
but as a whisper.
soon enough, I'll
only hear what I can see.
though I wish it did
and thought it could,
this trick can't make
anything disappear.
staring down the stairway
I'm not really waiting,
the most I can expect
is a specter.
staring down the lights
that line the corridor
everything is haloed.
soon enough, I'll
be blind in the dark.
though I wanted it to
and willed it so,
though I heard it could
and knew it must,
this door can't
open or close.
staring down the stairs
at a door
through which
you'll appear.
soon enough, there'll be
a return.
staring down the lie
that floats around still
but as a whisper.
soon enough, I'll
only hear what I can see.
though I wish it did
and thought it could,
this trick can't make
anything disappear.
staring down the stairway
I'm not really waiting,
the most I can expect
is a specter.
staring down the lights
that line the corridor
everything is haloed.
soon enough, I'll
be blind in the dark.
though I wanted it to
and willed it so,
though I heard it could
and knew it must,
this door can't
open or close.
10.09.2006
Power to the People
Happy Birthday John and Sean!!!!!!!
I am now working at Barnes and Noble in the cafe, which makes me miss my old Starbucks store and my old manager. Sigh. Oh well, it's money, which I need a lot of. Speaking of making money, I received $30 this weekend to judge three rounds of debate, which was interesting. I saw some good debates, but mostly very bad ones. But, it turns out that if the UN is given one trillion dollars, it can solve all the world's problems. So that's a relief. I'm trying to manage stress and time better which means that I'm trying to not worry so much about my two papers that are due next week that I haven't started on and trying to be confident that I can write both of them fairly well and hopefully finish them before the day they are due. Here's hoping.
I am now working at Barnes and Noble in the cafe, which makes me miss my old Starbucks store and my old manager. Sigh. Oh well, it's money, which I need a lot of. Speaking of making money, I received $30 this weekend to judge three rounds of debate, which was interesting. I saw some good debates, but mostly very bad ones. But, it turns out that if the UN is given one trillion dollars, it can solve all the world's problems. So that's a relief. I'm trying to manage stress and time better which means that I'm trying to not worry so much about my two papers that are due next week that I haven't started on and trying to be confident that I can write both of them fairly well and hopefully finish them before the day they are due. Here's hoping.
10.05.2006
The Perfect Crime #2
Happy Birthday Colin and Carson!!!!!!
This will be a rather short post. All I really want to say is holy jesus The Crane Wife is so fantastic!! It's so very good that it hurts so very much. Ah. Without a doubt The Decemberists are my second favorite band, which is saying quite a bit since they are only below The Beatles. I am counting the days and nights until November 11th.
This will be a rather short post. All I really want to say is holy jesus The Crane Wife is so fantastic!! It's so very good that it hurts so very much. Ah. Without a doubt The Decemberists are my second favorite band, which is saying quite a bit since they are only below The Beatles. I am counting the days and nights until November 11th.
9.26.2006
Something Of An End
At the Museum
we walk looking
at artifacts of
your love lost,
stop in front of
a canvas
spanning the wall
'Burn the Ships
in the Harbor'
your hand presses
mine and we
say innocuous things
to keep our feet moving.
Out of the room, you
tell me you misheard
a lyric and prefer it
that way.
"Don't let me fall
from heights so high,"
you whisper.
There's an exhibit
for Georges Seurat
around the corner,
but you want to
make your way
closer to ground level.
I misheard a lyric, too.
"For you I'd be myself,"
I whisper back.
With John posting all the concerts he'd been to, I thought I would as well with as much information as I can recall and in no particular order, really.
1. Chicago and The Beach Boys Summer 1987 (?) possibly in Tinley Park
2. Stevie Nicks May30, 1998 New World Music Theatre, Tinley Park
3. Styx and REO Speedwagon Summer 2000 IL State Fair
4. Oldies Show (which included Tommy Roe, Billy J. Kramer, Gary Lewis, many more) Summer 2000 IL State Fair
5. Styx and REO Speedwagon U of I campus
6. Three Dog Night Sangamon County Fair
7. The Turtles, Gary Puckett, and the Grass Roots EIU campus
8. Chicago IL State Fair
9. Gary Lewis, the Boxtops, and Blood, Sweat, and Tears St. Louis
10. Dark Star Orchestra Peoria
11. Elton John and Billy Joel April 4 2003 Savvis Center St. Louis
12. Paul McCartney April 11 2002 United Center Chicago
13. Rufus Wainwright Spring 2004 Pageant St. Louis
14. Old 97s, They Might Be Giants, Counting Crows Taste of Chicago 2003 (?)
15. The Decemberists October 18 2005 Metro Chicago
16. Colin Meloy January 23 2006 Park West Chicago
17. Belle & Sebastian March 11 2006 Riviera Theatre Chicago
18. Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie April 19 2006 Aragon Ballroom Chicago
19. Mates of State, Spoon, and Death Cab for Cutie August 12 2006 Greek Theatre Berkeley
20. Jethro Tull, opening act Guy Davis Murat Theatre Indianapolis Summer 2004
21. Revenge of the Bookeaters August 24 2006 Park West Chicago
22. No Doubt Verizon Arena Indianapolis Summer 2004
23. Sufjan Stevens, opening act My Brightest Diamond September 23 2006 Murat Egyptian Room Indianapolis
24. Kelly Joe Phelps Illinois College campus
25. Of Montreal Fall 2005 House Cafe Dekalb
I think that's about all.
we walk looking
at artifacts of
your love lost,
stop in front of
a canvas
spanning the wall
'Burn the Ships
in the Harbor'
your hand presses
mine and we
say innocuous things
to keep our feet moving.
Out of the room, you
tell me you misheard
a lyric and prefer it
that way.
"Don't let me fall
from heights so high,"
you whisper.
There's an exhibit
for Georges Seurat
around the corner,
but you want to
make your way
closer to ground level.
I misheard a lyric, too.
"For you I'd be myself,"
I whisper back.
With John posting all the concerts he'd been to, I thought I would as well with as much information as I can recall and in no particular order, really.
1. Chicago and The Beach Boys Summer 1987 (?) possibly in Tinley Park
2. Stevie Nicks May30, 1998 New World Music Theatre, Tinley Park
3. Styx and REO Speedwagon Summer 2000 IL State Fair
4. Oldies Show (which included Tommy Roe, Billy J. Kramer, Gary Lewis, many more) Summer 2000 IL State Fair
5. Styx and REO Speedwagon U of I campus
6. Three Dog Night Sangamon County Fair
7. The Turtles, Gary Puckett, and the Grass Roots EIU campus
8. Chicago IL State Fair
9. Gary Lewis, the Boxtops, and Blood, Sweat, and Tears St. Louis
10. Dark Star Orchestra Peoria
11. Elton John and Billy Joel April 4 2003 Savvis Center St. Louis
12. Paul McCartney April 11 2002 United Center Chicago
13. Rufus Wainwright Spring 2004 Pageant St. Louis
14. Old 97s, They Might Be Giants, Counting Crows Taste of Chicago 2003 (?)
15. The Decemberists October 18 2005 Metro Chicago
16. Colin Meloy January 23 2006 Park West Chicago
17. Belle & Sebastian March 11 2006 Riviera Theatre Chicago
18. Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie April 19 2006 Aragon Ballroom Chicago
19. Mates of State, Spoon, and Death Cab for Cutie August 12 2006 Greek Theatre Berkeley
20. Jethro Tull, opening act Guy Davis Murat Theatre Indianapolis Summer 2004
21. Revenge of the Bookeaters August 24 2006 Park West Chicago
22. No Doubt Verizon Arena Indianapolis Summer 2004
23. Sufjan Stevens, opening act My Brightest Diamond September 23 2006 Murat Egyptian Room Indianapolis
24. Kelly Joe Phelps Illinois College campus
25. Of Montreal Fall 2005 House Cafe Dekalb
I think that's about all.
9.24.2006
Keep Fallin'
My real complaint about grad school by Jill
For a while now, more specifically for the past year and a month or two, I've been thinking about and trying to articulate my various opinions about graduate school, specifically the Masters program in Film and Literature at Northern Illinois University. I've often bounced back and forth between feeling utterly hopeless as a grad student--that I don't belong here, that this is not what I want to do, that I'm a tourist and will be found out shortly, that I am a complete outsider in the world of academia, and feeling alright with everything and that I eventually will become a professor and will love doing it. One of the more important aspects of my inner-debate that I keep coming back to and am thinking about currently is the writing of academic papers. I am able to write very formal papers, but seldom willing to do so. I hate. Let me repeat, I really utterly depside, detest, abhor, and hate, fucking hate writing formal papers. Funny that I'm a grad student in English, you say. When I'm allowed to be somewhat informal, I feel better about writing essays. Needless to say, I have found many opportunities to write in a style that suits me throughout my academic career. I am in a course this semester that looks to be quite the opposite, so I am very much looking forward to writing a paper for that professor. Anyway, formality/informality aside, I have almost always looked at papers as simply something assigned to me. There have been some occasions where I actually wanted to write a paper, where I felt I had something to say and something to contribute to the pile of literary interpretation, but the ratio of these times to times I have had to write a paper is something like 1:10. I think my biggest (personal) issue with graduate school as a system (and I'm speaking very loosely here since all I am basing it on is my personal experience in my particular field in my particular part of the humanities in my particular university) is the writing of papers. In my ideal version of grad school that was in my head, I pictured a lot of reading and discussion. I pictured actually becoming a Master in the field in which one was studying. Devoting two to three years to really get to know your shit. To read as much as possible what's been written for and about your field of study, and to talk about it with learned people and other pupils eager to gain this knowledge. That by the time you were done, you could go to a cocktail party, and someone could ask you about post-modernism (yay for inside jokes), and you could speak knowledgably for a good amount of time without ever resorting to pulling things out of your ass. I'm alright with being tested about knowledge at the end, I'm alright with writing a thesis on something specific that you spend a lot of time on, I'm not alright with writing term papers simply because the professor can't think of a more original way to track how much you've learned and worked over the course of a semester. And let me pause here to reiterate that I'm simply writing about my opinion and experience. I'm more than willing to concede that I'm alone in my complaint here because maybe I'm just very lazy (which I am) and a slow reader (which I am) and like to complain about things (which I do) and perhaps need to always be in the position of railing against the norm around me (which is quite possible). Maybe I enjoyed my undergraduate experience because I was someone who like school in the middle of many people who were there because they were told to go there after high school, and now I'm no longer someone who is different or special and am around people who really like school. Perhaps I'm finding out that I like school because I knew my way around the system and did whatever I felt like doing within the confines of the educational system and didn't like actual jobs, and now I'm seeing that maybe I didn't really like school, I just liked doing what I wanted and the opportunity to not do work. Anyway, I want papers to be organic. I don't want to be forced and pressured to skim over various texts to find enough bullshit that supports some argument I don't really care all that much about making to fill twenty pages. And I realize that I'm papers are supposed to be organic, and that I'm supposed to read rather than skim things and really care about my argument, that I'm supposed to find something in the text I really care about arguing. But the thing is, I need more time to do that. I want to find a subject I like on my own, not because I have a deadline approaching. I then want to read everything I can find (that is not completely dull and uninteresting, in which case I will really try to read, but most likely end up skimming) on the subject, so that I actually know what I'm talking about in the paper, mull it over in my head a while until I feel confident in the matter and sincerely argue something. I want to become an expert in whatever I'm writing about so that I feel I can write about it. I'm not willing to become an expert (or even try that much) in every subject of every class I take. I admire those students who go the extra mile for every assignment and read something three times over and look up everything that they are confused about or find interesting, etc. I can't do that. Not with three classes, two sections to teach, friends to hang out with, a boyfriend to miss, TV to watch, music to listen to, movies to see, and more interesting things to read. I think I'm losing any conciseness and organization that I may have started out with here. Anyway, the point is I want to want to write papers, I want the process to be more natural, and I want to actually learn things in grad school. The whole idea of learning things just for a test or just for writing a paper has never felt more real or more appropriate than it does right now. And that just makes me sad, makes me think I'm wasting my time, and makes me want to work at a bookstore or in a videostore so that I can at least try to live up to my ideal grad school on my own. All this being said, I still think that I may feel differently about an MFA program in poetry, but I also know the odds of my being disappointed with that are pretty good. I know that I complain about grad school a lot, either in talking to people or in writing this blog, but it's something that I think about quite a bit and I can't help myself.
For a while now, more specifically for the past year and a month or two, I've been thinking about and trying to articulate my various opinions about graduate school, specifically the Masters program in Film and Literature at Northern Illinois University. I've often bounced back and forth between feeling utterly hopeless as a grad student--that I don't belong here, that this is not what I want to do, that I'm a tourist and will be found out shortly, that I am a complete outsider in the world of academia, and feeling alright with everything and that I eventually will become a professor and will love doing it. One of the more important aspects of my inner-debate that I keep coming back to and am thinking about currently is the writing of academic papers. I am able to write very formal papers, but seldom willing to do so. I hate. Let me repeat, I really utterly depside, detest, abhor, and hate, fucking hate writing formal papers. Funny that I'm a grad student in English, you say. When I'm allowed to be somewhat informal, I feel better about writing essays. Needless to say, I have found many opportunities to write in a style that suits me throughout my academic career. I am in a course this semester that looks to be quite the opposite, so I am very much looking forward to writing a paper for that professor. Anyway, formality/informality aside, I have almost always looked at papers as simply something assigned to me. There have been some occasions where I actually wanted to write a paper, where I felt I had something to say and something to contribute to the pile of literary interpretation, but the ratio of these times to times I have had to write a paper is something like 1:10. I think my biggest (personal) issue with graduate school as a system (and I'm speaking very loosely here since all I am basing it on is my personal experience in my particular field in my particular part of the humanities in my particular university) is the writing of papers. In my ideal version of grad school that was in my head, I pictured a lot of reading and discussion. I pictured actually becoming a Master in the field in which one was studying. Devoting two to three years to really get to know your shit. To read as much as possible what's been written for and about your field of study, and to talk about it with learned people and other pupils eager to gain this knowledge. That by the time you were done, you could go to a cocktail party, and someone could ask you about post-modernism (yay for inside jokes), and you could speak knowledgably for a good amount of time without ever resorting to pulling things out of your ass. I'm alright with being tested about knowledge at the end, I'm alright with writing a thesis on something specific that you spend a lot of time on, I'm not alright with writing term papers simply because the professor can't think of a more original way to track how much you've learned and worked over the course of a semester. And let me pause here to reiterate that I'm simply writing about my opinion and experience. I'm more than willing to concede that I'm alone in my complaint here because maybe I'm just very lazy (which I am) and a slow reader (which I am) and like to complain about things (which I do) and perhaps need to always be in the position of railing against the norm around me (which is quite possible). Maybe I enjoyed my undergraduate experience because I was someone who like school in the middle of many people who were there because they were told to go there after high school, and now I'm no longer someone who is different or special and am around people who really like school. Perhaps I'm finding out that I like school because I knew my way around the system and did whatever I felt like doing within the confines of the educational system and didn't like actual jobs, and now I'm seeing that maybe I didn't really like school, I just liked doing what I wanted and the opportunity to not do work. Anyway, I want papers to be organic. I don't want to be forced and pressured to skim over various texts to find enough bullshit that supports some argument I don't really care all that much about making to fill twenty pages. And I realize that I'm papers are supposed to be organic, and that I'm supposed to read rather than skim things and really care about my argument, that I'm supposed to find something in the text I really care about arguing. But the thing is, I need more time to do that. I want to find a subject I like on my own, not because I have a deadline approaching. I then want to read everything I can find (that is not completely dull and uninteresting, in which case I will really try to read, but most likely end up skimming) on the subject, so that I actually know what I'm talking about in the paper, mull it over in my head a while until I feel confident in the matter and sincerely argue something. I want to become an expert in whatever I'm writing about so that I feel I can write about it. I'm not willing to become an expert (or even try that much) in every subject of every class I take. I admire those students who go the extra mile for every assignment and read something three times over and look up everything that they are confused about or find interesting, etc. I can't do that. Not with three classes, two sections to teach, friends to hang out with, a boyfriend to miss, TV to watch, music to listen to, movies to see, and more interesting things to read. I think I'm losing any conciseness and organization that I may have started out with here. Anyway, the point is I want to want to write papers, I want the process to be more natural, and I want to actually learn things in grad school. The whole idea of learning things just for a test or just for writing a paper has never felt more real or more appropriate than it does right now. And that just makes me sad, makes me think I'm wasting my time, and makes me want to work at a bookstore or in a videostore so that I can at least try to live up to my ideal grad school on my own. All this being said, I still think that I may feel differently about an MFA program in poetry, but I also know the odds of my being disappointed with that are pretty good. I know that I complain about grad school a lot, either in talking to people or in writing this blog, but it's something that I think about quite a bit and I can't help myself.
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