6.29.2006

Roy Walker

About a month ago I started taking Zoloft. I haven't noticed any difference yet, but here's the thing: what am I supposed to notice exactly? I'm not sure I understand how it's going to work, and by it I'm referring to living without depression/obsessive compulsive disorder. What will it be like exactly? This notion of living "normally" doesn't really make sense to me. I have noticed that for awhile now, whenever I have an "episode", I feel increasingly detached from it. It used to be that whenever I was down, I couldn't really picture being up, but if I was up, I could always picture being down. Now, I still can't do up when I'm down, but I also can't really remember what it's truly like being down when I'm up. This morning I woke up and it took me a minute to even remember that I was down at the very end of last night. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I do know that this is just me rambling, so I'll stop and continue reading Let It Be by Colin Meloy and imagine the day when I'll call him my good friend and maybe we'll have a book club or I'll come over to his house and he'll try out new songs for me or we'll just hang out watching Bosom Buddies and music videos, and we'll both know that if the world was more fair and I was a bit older (or he a bit younger) and we had met years before that day, everything would be right in the world. [insert tee hee here].

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I guess that's an improvement? Yay for Zoloft?

I'm going to sit in the library computer lab until I'm done with this draft of my paper/ starve/ they close. Hopefully number 1 will win!